Friday, September 08, 2006

GVGOAT 44 - 35

44) Tetris (NES)
If you look up a lot of other top game lists, you'll almost always see this game near the top. Yes, I know it's one of the simplest AND best selling games of all time, but guess what, I don't care. However, I feel due to the mass appeal this game brought and we all know how to play it, it's worthy of at least a top 50 spot.

Above: A rare glimpse of the tetris mating season.

Fun Fact: The Tetris soundtrack has been credited as the single motivating factor to 14 separate serials murderers.

43) Duke Nukem 3D (PC)
Before GTA, there was Duke Nukem. He blew stuff up, he had great one-liners, he was a total badass. Not only could you give money to strippers, but you could also gain health by pissing in a urinal!! How awesome is that?!?!

Above: Pixelated booty.

He often said, "who wants some?". Frankly, we all did. In the age of shareware, the Duke was king.

42) Star Tropics (NES)
This game probably qualifies as "lost classic" more than any other game I know. An action/RPG game that was fun, with a good story line, and solid difficulty level, it just never got the public attention is deserved.

Above: Semi-automatic octopus

Also, your main weapons was a yo-yo. Props for that. And it was one of the few games in this genre that allowed you to jump in a 3D type environment. Just a really cool game.

Fun Fact: The game manual included a note from one of the game characters that contained a 4-digit code you needed to launch the game. This was a big issue to game rental businesses, as they always took the booklet/paper out (morons), so no one could use the game.

41) Commando (NES)
Sadly, I think all characters in this game are wearing underwear, but I don't think you can prove it. What I never understood about this game was why the guy always ran forward. I mean, that's where all the bad guys are. Wouldn't you just go around them?

Above: Going Commando, hopefully.

Fun Fact: Commando and his enemies were actually on the same side, but somehow his outfit got washed in the wrong load and turned blue instead of the standard issue gray. So, they became enemies because someone can't separate the whites and colors...hehe, racism.

40) Contra (NES)
Gimme a spread gun and some funions and I'll dominate the world in 2 hours. Don't question it.

Now, there's really two main reasons Contra gets to be this high:
1) We all can still ramble off the cheat code for infinite lives
2) The co-op was the most wonderful use of side scrolling action, as you could easily get your teammate killed at any time.

Above: You better have the cheat code typed by now.

Also, I loved the Contra "blowing up" sound. It was like a midi file doing "Ka-blahalalala". Never got old.

Fun Fact: Contra is an autobiography by Chuck Norris

39) Pong

The game that started it all. We all owe the creaters of Pong a big kiss for getting the ball rolling...errr...bouncing, as it may be.

Above: Behold the beginning of games, it was transcribed to this parchment from the Rosetta Stone.

Fun Fact: 3 player Pong would never work.

38) Day of the Tentacle (PC)
Widely regarded as the "funniest" game of all-time, DOTT provided irreverent humor as the game progressed in point and click style. Bizarre scenery and even more bizarre jokes added to the cult-classic status of this game.

Above: So, uhh, you sell your paycheck for that window?

Maybe the greatest part of this game is that you could play a full version of it's prequel, Maniac Mansion, inside it. That gets major bonus points as Maniac Mansion was almost good enough to make this list on its own right.

Fun Fact: There is a porno by the same name.

37) RC Pro-Am (NES)

I learned how to drive by playing this game. Always ram as many cars as possible. Never run over an oil slick. Remeber to be on the lookout for super speed arrows and Mel Novak. And, always equip rockets that look like paper fireworks on your car. After that, it's all a summer's breeze. DOUCHE!!

Above: Tiny Little (You can DO IIIIIIIIIIT!) Cars

Fun Fact: Micro-Machines were inspired by this game. Inspired to be awesome!

36) Pac-Man (Arcade)

Wonka Wonka Wonka. Bleep. Blurp. Wonka Wonka.

Above: A round spaceship flying to the left, leaving a vapor trail.

This game taught me two vaulable lessons:
1) The hierarchy of fruit.
2) Ghosts are only edible if you ingest magical glowing pellets.

Fun Fact: Ms. Pac-Man is actually just Pac-Man with a bow on. I'm seroius, have you ever seen them together at the same time? Why wouldn't she just be in the game with him? Think about it people!!

35) NBA Live 95 (SNES)
An absolute staple of my youth. This game introduced the first chaz batch of hall of fame video game atheletes from the basketball world. Welcome Dan Majerle and Mitch Richmond! Yes, I had Majerle go 24-25 from 3pt range. And yes, I scored 96 pts (still a record) with Mitch in a 3 minute quarter game. However, this game was much more than that.

Above: You'd be CRAZY not to guard Charles Barkley

For me, it was the first game to feature alley-ooooops. Which included any player able to dunk on an oop. 2-handed thunder dunks by Stockton were always a favorite. Also, David Benoit could dunk from ANYWHERE inside the 3 pt line. And, I don't know if it was intentional, but centers refused to dunk. It was just like real life!!

Fun Fact: This game is really the first shocker on the list. In my initial phases, I figured this one would easily crack the top 25. But somehow it just didn't. So, with apologizes to Felton Spencer, Tracey Murray, and Haq, the top 35 await...


At 9:10 PM, September 12, 2006, Anonymous SSSSSSSSSSSSnaves said...

Star Tropics rocked. You need Crystalis on the list if you have Star Tropics. I heart TJ


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