Tuesday, August 15, 2006

91 - 85 GVGOAT

91) Gauntlet (Arcade)

Video games, at their essence, are created for us to waste time. This game does that mindlessly better than any other game. Button mashing away!! pew pew pew!!! Sure, you couldn't really tell if he was throwing ninja stars or doggy biscuits, but that didn't matter. There was endless shit to kill, and you did. Why did infinite numbers of ghosts generate from piles of bones? Well, why wouldn't they?

Above: Go AROUND the wall, stupid.

Fun Fact: Wakefield and I once played Gauntlet: Dark Legacy for 13 hours straight.

90) DDR Max (PS2)
Just when you thought white people only had the electric slide and the macarena, Dance Dance Revolution arrived and took middle American, Tokyo, and New Orleans by storm...eeeeee. The game makes the list for being wildly popular AND ground breaking. It was the first time activity co-existed with gaming in a fun way.

Above: That kid's got next, but his keys aren't on the floor.

Fun Fact: One of the few games that's WAY more fun when not sober. Also, like most things, it's better to watch happen when Evan has a huge clock around his neck.

89) Links: The Challenge of Golf (PC)
The first golf game that was even worth playing, and basically all games since have used it's method of swinging. Push once to start, let the power increase, then hit again for accuracy. The game was a graphics god on a 286 machine and actually had sound too!!

Ironically, this game was the only game for which I couldn't find a picture link.

Fun Fact: I spent the better part of 5 years of my life saying "great....double eagle". Which was what the game told you, if you in fact were able to get one.

88) You Don't Know Jack (PC)
The only quiz game that ever achieved any type of success in the realm of video games, the YDKJ series managed to keep fresh and fun throughout. One of the first of a few series achievements that will appear on the list, it's hard to say one of these game by themselves was better, but as a series they never disappointed.

Above: Screw Him!!!!

Fun Fact: Considering how wildly popular this series was, it died out very, very fast.

87) Wrestlemania 2000 (N64)
The game makers finally listened and created a wrestling game with all the features we'd been begging for: Create-a-wrestler with full body type attributes, moves picker, dancing, and intro-music. It was wonderful. My guy had every eye-rake, low-blow (with bell ringing sound effect), and side russian leg sweep you could imagine. Coupled with my two-handed pelvic fist pumped blue meanie dance, I was a fushia fighting machine.

Above: This game was quite the undertaking....har har!

The game featured the ability to start as a lowbie and win various titles through a career mode. And it also had specialty matches such as a 30 man royal-rumble, which was fantastic.

Fun Fact: Scooter's created wrestler looked more like him than he does.

86) Paperboy (Arcade)
A classic in the arcade, every greaz-o "
rebel" couldn't wait to drive Johnny around on his bike and break windows with newspapers. The game really didn't handle that well, but was a legend and quite fun to play. Also, any game that actually has Death chase you around has to make it in the list.

Fun Fact: The paperboy had no feet and his ankles had been fused to the pedals.

85) The Simpsons (Arcade)
There have been many, MANY
attempts to capitalize on the Simpsons franchise in the video game world, but almost all of them have sucked royaly. This game is the lone exception provided much fun for the whole simpson clan. Basically played in the River City Ransom mold (foreshadowing) it had all the characters and charm that was needed plus fun game play and great animation. Having Marge run around and hit people with a sweeper never got old.

Above: Hired goon take a sweeper right in the boy-zone.

Fun Fact: I also played a game called something like "Bart's Nightmare" on PC. It was one of the worst games ever made.


At 11:51 AM, August 16, 2006, Blogger Scooter said...

Well first off, WRESTLEMANIA 64 being this high is ludicris. A distant 2nd to PRO WRESTLING, but still 4 player action was epic, taunts included with create a wrestler made this game for hours of family fun. The multiple match set ups which TJ mentioned were great. Way to low on this list which bemoans more poor decision making to come......

At 4:59 PM, August 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back midwestERNbias. You were gone so long, I almost forgot about you.

At 4:59 PM, August 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Break of Dawn

At 7:37 PM, August 21, 2006, Blogger Torgonator said...

I think the real story here (besides from theBlog.net picking back up and the fact that I've actually found 10 minutes to read it for the first time in 3 months) is the fact that Scott just used the word "bemoan". Maybe it's just me, but I can't picture him saying that word.

At 12:36 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger Jack Fu said...

On the bright side, at least he used it incorrectly.

At 1:33 PM, August 26, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bart versus the Space Mutants for the NES may have been the worst Simpsons gave ever. I beat it but it took way too much work and the ending music just continued from the final level.

The Dur



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