Saturday, August 05, 2006


Hi there! So we went on a little bit of a hiatus there. (We’re sorry. Please don’t hiatus.)
Things have been kind of hectic lately and unfortunately, the blog wasn’t a priority for the fearsome foursome over here. We’re all very ashamed. So allow me to quickly sum up everything important that happened in the sports world the last couple of months (in no particular order):

- So I spent every waking hour of my non-work/non-sleeping life in June watching the World Cup. Outstanding tourney as usual. Then Zidane went crazy and sorta ruined everything. I’m still picking up my jaw off of the Torgonator’s living room floor. I mean we’ve all seen some bizarre meltdowns in sports, but that was unreal. Wilbon said in was “a million times worse” than Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield’s ear off.

- So despite coaching the only team not to lose to the World Champs, Bruce Arena was shown the door, and rightly so in my opinion. I really thought he should just step down after the Ghana debacle and US Soccer gave him a week or two to do so, but the Bruce refused. Too bad he had to go out like that. I felt exactly about the Bruce Arena firing as I did about the John Cooper firing: I mean they were both immensely successful coaches and I felt privileged to have rooted for their teams for so long. But man, it was just time for them to go. I’ll always look back fondly on their tenures, but I’m glad they’re no longer in charge.

- During the British Open it became apparent that Tiger Woods is a robot. THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO… Or maybe not, considering how much he cried on the 18th green with no sign of rusting. Seriously though, I think its okay now to include him in the greatest golfer ever discussion. Before now it was premature. YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOME SNACKS.

- So, you think Phil Steele’s a little pissed about the Rhett Bomar thing? Countless hours of research down the pooper.

- Much like with the World Cup, I watched a ton of Tour de France action recently. And much like the last 7 tours, my favorite rider in the field won. I’m so happy.…wait…. he did WHAT?! SHIT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Fucking Mennonites! The Mennonites are responsible for all the wars in the world, you know. Right, Mel? Seriously though, when the favorites are kicked out before the race for doping, and then the winner ends up being juiced too (allegedly/probably/etc.), there’s something really wrong with your sport. And amid all this is the Justin Gatlin thing, which is in my opinion a bigger story. I mean are cycling and track that desperate for attention in America that they feel the need to act like baseball players? News Flash!!! It’s not working! You’re the fastest man on the planet, you’re hepped on super-crazy-goofballs, and you don’t get a tenth of the coverage that Terrell Owens’s new book does. Justin, if you’re gonna get caught on roids, it damn well better be in a year divisible by 4.

- This week at Culver's: Really Reese’s All You Can Eat Chicken !!! Mmmm. Almost as good as Cookies & Cream Pork Chops. Wait... what was the other one?

- September 2nd can't come soon enough. I mean, have you seen all the quality games that night? I can't remember an opening weekend being this frisky. And just because no one's talking about it, Northern Illinois is no pushover. My all-too-early and baseless prediction is a 31-21 win for The OSU in a game that makes Buckeye Nation a little extra nervous for the Tay-haas game. And I just found out that we're starting out at #1 (Thank you Notre Dame defense.) So everybody chant along with me: WE'RE #1! WE'RE #1! Sweet. We can do that without reprisal for at least the next 4 weeks. So some guy at work asked me this morning about the #1 ranking: "Blessing or albatross?" There's an argument to be made for both, but I say blessing. I think if later on in the year, if it's between us and another team for a certain spot in the polls, voters are more likely to pick the team they originally thought was more talented. But on the other hand (I have 5 MORE fingers), going wire-to-wire is a herculean undertaking. Please no one mention 1998 here. Shit. I just did.

For the record, Nipsey's top 3 mirrors CFN's (guess I was wrong about no one else liking USC - wait... 'liking' is NOT the term I meant to use there):

1. USC
2. Texas
3. The Ohio State

Then I'd put Auburn at 4, and after that I have no freakin' idea. Even though I think they're overrated, I might actually put Notre Dame at 5 by default. I guess I've been reading WAY too much Blue-Gray Sky recently.

- In a huge loss for the NFL, Willie Roaf has retired.
Wonder what he might do with all this free time? Thinking about a new career perhaps?
(Did anyone know that Willie Roaf went to Louisiana Tech?! I mean, that’s just awesome. It’s the best nugget of information I’ve come across in a long time. Does Cave know this? I love that bar!) So in celebration of such a fine career, I offer a very special Fanta dance in your direction, Willie! DON’T YA WANTA?

- Before the NBA playoffs started, analysts were saying that with all the superstars (Shaq, Kobe, LeBron, Melo, D-Wade, Duncan, Chris 'Hulk-a-maniac' Kaman) and the storylines involved that this version of the playoffs could be the best ever. I was skeptical, but I gotta give credit where credit is due. Those were the best NBA playoffs I’ve seen in a very, very long time.
Then the finals sucked and kinda ruined everything. The Mavs didn’t show up and D-Wade was so protected I think I got called for a few fouls on him.

- I gotta give props to the Hurricanes for winning Lord Stanley’s Dinnerware. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Canes. For those who weren’t in Columbus in the mid 90s, when Peter Karmanos was in the process of moving the Hartford Whalers (cue ‘Brass Bonanza’), Columbus was his #1 choice, at least for awhile there. Obviously, this was before Nationwide Arena or the Schott. So until a home for the Whale could be built, they were going to play in a makeshift arena crafted out of an old abandoned airplane hangar out near Port Columbus. Seriously. And on top of that Karmanos was going to personally rename the team. His choice? The Columbus Xplorers … and no that is NOT a misprint. I guess he thought leaving the ‘E’ off would make the team more Xtreme, more Xciting and perhaps Xistential … maybe not that last one. (That choice of name was just plain Xtemporaneous.) Anyway, I’ve never been able to watch a Canes game without wondering what might have been. For the record, after watching the Canes win it all a couple months after seeing the Jackets not even sniff the playoffs for the 5th time…. I still wouldn’t have it any other way.

- Keeping with the NHL talk, it looks like there’s going to be a very long standoff in the Zherdev contract negotiations. If Doug McLean is just playing coy, trying to get the best deal possible, good for him. But if he lets Zherdev play in Russia instead of Columbus this year, he might as well just sign his own pink slip. To say that the Zherdev camp has some bargaining power is putting it lightly.

- And finally, on a personal note, let us all congratulate Midwest Bias co-founder (and all around swell guy) Jack Fu for passing the bar and getting married in the span of a couple days. Here’s wishing you and K Fu - yeah I made that up - all the happiness in the entire blogosphere. (Please note: K Fu is not to be confused with K Fed or the martial art of Kung Fu.)

“I will now read these special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. "Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness" -- poorness is underlined -- "in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey- navigated"...... and it goes on like this.”


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