Wednesday, August 23, 2006

64 - 55 GVGOAT

64) Space Invaders (PC)
Yes, a total classic. It's in the hall of fame. Scroll, drop, and shoot. Is there really anything else I can even say about it? No.

Above: 2-Dimensions of rage

Fun Fact: The game had no final level. The aliens just kept moving faster until....well, forever.

63) Battletoads (NES)
There's one thing I remember most about this game: It was impossible. No matter how many times I got to the stage where you had to ride that bizarre flying unicycle, I could beat it. In fact, I don't even know if I ever beat the game with a game genie. However, the game was really fun. And all the levels were quite different for a good mix up of game play. So what if they were a rip off of the ninja turtles, the game still ruled.

Above: Cruising through an intestine faster than No. 1 Chinese food. 8 RUCKY!!!

62) Castlevania (NES)
We've all played it. It's an absolute legend in the gaming world. But, the game really wasn't THAT good. Simon and his whip, which was better than Johan Santana's in 2004, went around beating the crap out of vampires and vampire related monsters. Somehow this game is remembered a bit more fondly than it should be.

Above: Yeah, it's Castlevania II, but you get the idea. Apparently "Simon's Quest" was a hunt for little boys.

Fun Fact: Castlevania is actually referring to the legend of vampires in Transylvania. In keeping with the theme of slight changes to tradition, the main vampire is not called Dracula, he's named Scott Bacula instead. (Wow, that was a reach, thumbs down. I just revoked my own bit. There's another vampire joke there, but I'm letting it go. Next!)

61) Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003-Present (PS2)
The best and most realistic golf game ever created, none of it's versions have been a let down. Being able to play full season, with stats, and actual players is a nice touch. However, once you get enough stuff, the game becomes incredibly easy. So, easy that the final challenge for me was trying to shoot under 50 on 18 holes. 18 Holes.....IN A ROW!!

Above: A good walk spoiled.

Fun Fact: While easy in the later stages, the "world tour" match play mode was always a bitch. I once lost three straight 1-up matches to Jim Furyk in which he shot a 59 each round. Controllers were thrown.

60) Baseball Simulater 1.000 (NES)
Some games are made for realism, this game is not one of them. Each of your players had special hitting and pitching abilities such as missle hit, bomb hit, stop pitch, no shadow hit (which was awesome for 2 player, but totally pointless against the CPU), crazy bounce hit, and I could go on and on. This game was easily the most fun sports title that didn't use any real atheletes.

Above: The Delta Queens would be proud of those unis.

Also, it was one of the first game to feature season long stats with a battery backup on the cartridge. That's what really took this one to the next level.

Fun Fact: During a nintendo-fest a couple years ago, I beat Phil by hitting a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs to win 10-9. Phil dropped to the ground, rolled around for a bit, then went on vacation.

59) Gradius (Arcade)
Another in the list of great arcade games that also made the switch to the console. For this title, the transition actually worked pretty well. A fun little side-scrolling shooter, it was everything this type of game should be. I have nothing funny to say about this game. Although, I'm sure Jack would argue I've had nothing funny to say about ANY of these games, we all know he's a liar.

Above: Good use of the double-ovary shield.

58) Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? (PC)
Why is this game on the list? Well first of all, every single one you sang the title after you read it. C'mon, we know you did. Plus, any game that can make me look up facts AND I still have fun doing it is worth a top 91 ranking. The premise of the game was fantastic, but they could have done more with the graphics and features. "Where in the World" is the most known, but I actually think "Where in Time" was the best version I played. However, they were all basically the same game.

Above: Big Ben STILL isn't wearing a helmet. When will he learn!!?!?!

Fun Fact: Carmen was a tranny.

57) River City Ransom (NES)
Sigh, I heart this game. While there's many reason for my affection, I will give you three:
1) You can die by running into the edge of the screen
2) In co-op mode, you can beat up your partner, kill him, AND take his money
3) The enemies say "barf!" a lot when dying.

Above: Takin' out the trash.

Also, I've determined that Scooter would have been the best River City Random character of all-time. Here's my reasons why...
1) According to Adam, he's the strongest person ever!! OMG!!
2) One of the best skills you have to buy in the game is "stone hands" and he was BORN with those. So you'd get it for free!
3) Scott Face on a nintendo character. Just Wow.

Fun Fact: There needs to be more games where you can kill a guy, then beat up someone else with his dead, fat corpse.

56) Sonic the Hedgehog (Sega)

Ever since Nintendo unleashed the Mario empire on us, the other game makers have been trying to get a piece of that frachised action. In the non-nintendo world, no one came closer than Sonic. The first few Sonic games were a lot of fun. Cool spinning, super jumps, VERY VERY fast paced game, and blue spikes!! It was basically Mario, if Mario was a blue thingy and on a strict regiment of crack and angel dust.

Above: So, THIS is what happens when you collect all those rings.

I gotta be honest, normally I would include such a crude picture, but he's parting the tail!!! How clutch is that?!?!

Fun Fact: If you could roll him fast enough in his ball, you would achieve super-"sonic" speed. The reward was an instant seizure.

55) TMNT II (Arcade & NES)
Once upon a time video game makers decided to make a great arcade game, and they made TMNT the arcade version. Then, they decided, "hey, let's release a game for the console, that's TOTALLY different from the super popular arcade version AND let's make it suck". Oh, and did they ever. TMNT for the NES sucked and it did so very hard. Finally, they released TMNT II for the NES WHICH they should have done in the first place. Pricks.

Above: BEHIND YOU! (could also be used for Sonic's picture)

Everyone had their favorite turtle. C'mon, we all did. Mine was Donatello. He was purple!! And he had that gay stick. The biggest question I always had, why didn't Leonardo ever cut anyone with his swords? How is that even possible?

Fun Fact: I spent approximately $3,562.50 on this game in the arcade.


At 2:48 PM, August 24, 2006, Anonymous Mrs Jackfu said...

Why you are single, I'll never know. You live in your parents' basement and have a list of your 100 favorite video games. It's a mystery.

At 3:26 PM, August 24, 2006, Blogger Jack Fu said...

Be fair, now: it's 91.

Gradius is such an underrated game. Freakin' nooone seems to remember it. Also, you're not funny.

Carmen Sandiego was always in Egypt, wasn't she? Did I make that up?

At 3:32 PM, August 24, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greetings from the bayou...speaking of bayou...does anyone remember the NES game Bayou Billy, I don't know why but that just popped into my head. It does not belong on the list, but anywho...Great job so far on this fantastic list. Just a couple of things...Battletoads did rule, but it was ridiculously hard ( insert cock joke). Another great thing about that game is the music. Not as good as Megaman 2, but definately in my top ten of games with terrific music. The original TMNT game for NES was not lame, I liked it. It was also very challenging. Nothing like jumping into the lake where you had to disable the bombs in just the nick lachey of time without getting shockered by the random weeds and such. And by the way, Donatello sucks..Leonardo RULES. I agree with you that Castlevania is overrated, but it does deserve a spot on the list. Killing monsters with an ever-increasing sized whip is always fun. Well I will continue to reply and add to the blog more often now to stay in touch with you clowns. Until next time.

Oh That Cave

At 1:12 PM, April 19, 2012, Anonymous contactos en madrid said...

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