Friday, June 24, 2005

It was fun ... kind of ... while it lasted

Bummer. Series tied 3-3, with the game tied at 57 going into the fourth quarter of game 7. Not sure you can find two more evenly-matched teams. These two teams square off for 20 games, odds are they would finish with a 10-10 split. The thing that jumped up and bit the Pistons was the thing that everyone pointed out as their main weakness all year: sometimes the guys just can’t shoot straight. In the fourth quarter last night, Rasheed was like 3-5, and the rest of the team was something like 3-14. That was the difference.

Although, you could really make a strong argument that the difference last night, and in the series as a whole, was 3-point shooting. Last night the Pistons were 2-for-14, while the Spurs went 7-for-11. In the seven games combined, the Spurs outscored the Pistons from behind the arc ... get ready ... 153-54. That’s an average of 14 more points per game coming from threes. If that ain’t the whole story, it’s damn near it.

But hey, hats off to the Spurs. They got it done when it mattered. Tim Duncan avoided an entire offseason of hearing about why he was a choker. I guess of all the Western Conference teams, I could probably live with the Pistons losing to the Spurs more than I could handle them losing to anyone else. They’re a great team, and Popovich is a great coach and a class act. Now, the Pistons just have to find somebody who can come off the bench and actually put the ball in the basket once in a while...


At 11:00 AM, June 24, 2005, Blogger The Diddy said...

You know, it's weird. The only reason Duncan looked better, is because the Spurs finally ran the offense through him in the 4th. Did you see his shooting percentage?? 10-27...Simply terrible. And where was Tony Parker in the 4th? I'm not even sure he was on the floor other than to commit a terrible (but meaningless) foul on rip. Just a weird game.

Also, I thought Ben Wallace had AT LEAST 35 rebounds in game 7. And yet he only had 11. I don't believe it.

I have no idea who I thought was the better team. Basically it came down to home court.

At 4:25 PM, June 24, 2005, Blogger Jack Fu said...

Basically, yeah, it came down to home court. Maybe that will inspire the Pistons to actually play all season next year, instead of taking maddening 10-game stretches off. Home court is HUGE. Since 1980, in the four major sports, something like 17 championship series have gone to a game 7. The home team is now 17-0 in those games.

And yeah, Ben seemed huge yesterday. I thought he had more boards, too.

And I think Parker was exposed much more than Duncan was in this series. After the first two games, Chauncey at Parker alive - the Spurs eventually had to put Bowen on him, and the Pistons were too stupid to get the rock to Rip with Parker guarding him.


At 4:27 PM, June 24, 2005, Blogger Jack Fu said...

I just checked - a road team has not won a game 7 in a championship series (World Series, NBA Finals, or Stanley Cup Finals) since the Pirates beat the Orioles in Baltimore in game 7 way back in 1979...

At 4:35 PM, June 27, 2005, Blogger Nipsey said...

It was the 3s.

But I gotta give some love to the Pistons in this regard:

- When Kobe hit that clutch shot to win Game 2 last year, I was sure that the Pistons were toast. Not only did they win the following game, they won the following 3 games.

- When Horry hit that clutch shot to win Game 5 this year, I was sure the Pistons would lose Game 6. Again, I and a whole lot of other people were wrong. Plus, the Pistons didn't exactly lay down for the Spurs in Game 7 either.

My point?

This team honestly has about as much cory heart as any professional sports team in recent memory.

Pistons fans, that's honestly something to be proud of.

And if that doesn't cheer you up, please read the following editorial from the Onion of the future:


When robots started to become commonplace, Congress, in its great wisdom, mandated that every robot be hardwired with the Three Laws Of Robotics. For decades, these three basic rules have maintained class order in our society and kept the number of robot-caused deaths to a minimum. We all know these three laws:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

That certainly makes sense. No one wants a gore-bot to twist someone into a pretzel or stand aside and watch a human get hit by a Greyhound Shuttle.

2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except when such orders would conflict with the First Law.

This, too, makes sense. Robots are manufactured to perform the actions requested by their owners. If we didn't want that, we'd all buy SteveJobsbots.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Uh, hello? A robot is a big investment. It only makes sense to protect humans from possible protocol violations. We can't have every robot who doesn't like his assigned duties throwing himself off the Golden Gate Overpass, can we?

Frankly, I'd be happy if these three rules were all that was necessary to ensure happy robot-human coexistence. Unfortunately, there's been a huge oversight. There's nothing in those laws to keep those machines out of my wife's coochie!

I'm not asking that we draft a law to prevent robots from manually stimulating with owner consent. If people want their wives fingered by their bots, that's fine. I wasn't born yesterday. To each his own. I'm not asking you to forbid robots from fingering every wife, just mine.

Sure, I can tell the robots from the neighborhood, "Hey, don't finger my wife!" and, under the Second Law Of Robotics, they'd have to comply. But what about the thousands of robots I've never met? The moment my back is turned, odds are my wife's going to get robo-fingered. It doesn't matter if the robot doesn't have fingers—she'll find some sorta antenna, spring, or crankshaft, and—boom—that robot will get her off.

Here's something I don't understand: We can develop a robot sturdy enough to mine the Saturnine moon Enceladus, strong enough to withstand the fierce ionic winds and burst through the 40 meters of scorched onyx that covers the planet, and smart enough to collect the vital crystals from amidst all the worthless rock, but the designers at USR labs can't figure out how to stop them from finger-banging my wife?

Do robotics engineers have any idea how much it breaks my heart to know that my wife's vulva has been probed by hundreds of metal phalanges? Are they trying to ruin my marriage?!

Good people at USR Labs, I urge you: Add a fourth item of protocol to the programming that guides the models in your next rollout. I want these automatons to get it into their intricate positronic brains that some parts of the human body are off limits, no matter how much human women plead. I, as well as thousands of other husbands around the world, would greatly appreciate it.


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