Monday, September 19, 2005

Spackle and Shine

Never question the brilliance of Brock'S pack jokes, they always work. Plus, he looks like a Brock. I'm WAY overdue for a post, and with a weekend of football in hand, it's time for some musings.

OSU: Wow am I glad we scheduled SDSUSDAUSASSDU in the week after Texas. The hangover was there, in a big way. I'm guessing the team feels a lot like the rest of us: we needed the taste out of our mouth - it was runny and salty.....FROM TEARS you perverts. Goodness, we aren't pre-teens with a Marcus Vick oral fixation. Anywho, OSU came in a tight formation and rub-offed everyone around them. In summary, a win is win. Sidenote: scooter and I were at a wedding during the game, but we found a TV in the upstairs of the church which we kept going to in order to check the score.

MSU/Notre Dame - Am I the only one who thinks Brady Quinn throws behind his receiver every time? I swear he constantly does it. And yes, I couldn't be happier ND lost. HOWEVER! The media is trying to put this spin on it as if it's fantastic than they pulled it to overtime. Almost like they're trying to convince us that they were correct in saying "Notre Dame is great this year". Guess what Notre still lost. HOORAY!! HOT CARL!!

Basically, all the other games I watched, the better team won. BC was just too slow for FSU, Florida was better than Rocky Top, and Oklahoma just isn't good. Also, if Texas doesn't make it into the title game this year, they never will.

NFL: so the Browns won in Green Bay? weird
The Lions got pummelled by the Bears? What public square do they hold executions on in Detriot? I'd like to come up and watch Joey's head be removed.
Culpepper - wow, wow, wow. I watched a good part of that game. Without exaggerating, it was the WORST QB/O-line performance I've ever seen, ever. And yes, I watched the first game of the "new browns" in '99 against Pittsburg with Ty Detmer at QB.
In case you missed it, Steve McNair through a TD pass in the Titan's win yesterday. The interesting part was the massive omega he flashed to celebrate. DELTA QUEENS REJOICE!


At 3:16 PM, September 19, 2005, Blogger Torgonator said...

Browns vs. Green Day - I'm still not quite sure how this happened. Ahman Green couldn't run against the Browns defense. (?!?) The Browns couldn't get the running game going against the Packers defense (?) so they had to defeat them with the passing game. (?!?) I can't figure it out. Was it 'opposite day' or something?

The only things that looked apparent to me from that could help explain this are: (1) I think Daylon McCutcheon is one of the most underrated cornerbacks in the league, (2) the acquisition of Gary Baxter seems to be paying off dividends already - he was solid in pass coverage, and (3) and this is probably the most important point, the Packers offense seemed to be completely lost without Javon Walker on the field.

In fact, the only time either offense really looked dominant was late in the game when Favre transformed into, well, Favre and chewed through the soft Browns defense. Granted, the defense was soft by design, and it was easier to move the ball with the short passing game, but it looked like Favre was so irritated with the poor offensive performance that he decided he would give the receivers no choice but to catch the ball by throwing it 300 MPH such that, on impact with the receiver's hands, the heat generated would cause the football skin to melt just enough to form an instant seal with the hands. He single-handedly willed that last Packers touchdown. Can you imagine dropping a Favre pass late in a close game? I bet Brett Farber keeps a loaded shotgun in his locker for just such an occasion. The receivers look understandly terrified of him. If the Packers get the onsides kick and they had 30 more seconds on the clock, I think the Packers win the game.

But the whole game was just bizarre. It looked like two other teams dressed up in the Packers and Browns uniforms were playing each other. Neither team looked like their usual selves.

Harrington - I didn't watch the game, but holy crap he is going to be burned alive. He should have been better on defense.

Culpepper - I did watch some of this game as well and I agree that it was worse than the Browns return game in '99. It was so lopsided that it looked kinda like what I imagine would happen if a team like the Miami Hurricanes tried to take on an NFL team. The Bengals did whatever they wanted, at all times. Culpepper in 2005 - 0 TDs and 8 interceptions. Wow.

At 8:50 AM, September 20, 2005, Blogger The Diddy said...

B\c it's worth mentioning...after you all badgered my draft, I led the league in points during the first week. Just remember, for roughly $9 you could have had Chris Chambers.

Also, during the Browns game, I thought the announcers made an interesting point. Why does the media hate Trent Dilfer so much? He's had a fairly productive and lengthy career (mostly for bad teams), but it's universially accepted that he stinks and it's "ok" if you make fun of him for how bad he is. I mean, I'm not a Trent Dilfer fan, but it is a strange occurance. Who decides that some guys are crap and when they do, well, it's CRAZY?! I seem to notice this media decision mostly made for NFL QBs (see Jon Kitna) You guys have an examples from other sports? There's a ton going the other direction, guys who are completely mediocre but are revered by the media (see Scotty Pippen).

Finally, I hope you all noticed but they had former NFL players answering the phones last night during the MNF game for the Katrina donations (aka FeedaSpookathon) (Side note - these people never had money before, why should we give them any now?) Anyway, one of the guys answering the phone was....Christian Okoye!!! (NST Score: 99, He loses a point for making an appearance) No sight of Barry Word (NST Score: 95) though.

At 10:16 AM, September 20, 2005, Blogger Jack Fu said...

Evan, am I the only other one who was there for the "vs. Green Day" moment on the teevee? Or was Cave there too?

Being the resident Lions guy here (as opposed to "being from another planet"), I just have to say that that was one of the most embarrassing losses for a franchise which has been defined by embarrassing losses over the last five years. The most embarrassing part was Mike Brown's Night Train Lane-esque headhunting job on Marcus Pollard, a move which SHOULD result in a hefty fine from The League. Not that it happened, but that he LAUGHED afterward, and that no one - NO ONE - on the Lions did a thing about it. It was a microcosm of the entire day: the Bears punched the Lions in the face, kicked them in the balls, laughed at them, and then kept kicking them in the balls. I mean, they blitzing on every play when they were winning by thirty! I'm not one to play the hilariously overused "we got disrespected" card, but that was the most egregious example of one team clearly and unabashedly having no respect for, or even common decency toward, their opponent. If the Lions don't have the October 30th rematch circled on their calender, and if they're not ready to absolutely go Tom Cruise on those motherfuckers, than they're a bigger bunch of pussies than even I was afraid they were.

It's all part of something larger. Yes, Joey Harrington isn't playing well. But he's just about the least of this team's concerns. The attitude stinks. They have no toughness. Their offense and defense show absolutely NO creativity (i.e., they never throw a pass more than 6 yards downfield, and they never even freaking blitz on defense). I think you have to trace it all back to the coach. I like Mooch, but all of these problems are indicative of a lack of leadership or vision from the top. And it's disgusting to behold: at this point, two weeks into the season, the Lions are, without exaggerating, probably the least-watchable team in the league.


At 2:31 PM, September 20, 2005, Blogger Torgonator said...

Wow. That's terrible. That's gotta be one of the lowest points in any professional football franchise's history. Not that I particularly care about the Lions, but that's sad. The Browns have been pretty pathetic the last few years in many, many impressive ways, but I can't say that I've seen anything quite like that. I hope it gets straightened out soon, because no team's fans should have to go through that... unless it's Notre Dame.

Speaking of which, doesn't the sun shine just a little bit brighter when Notre Dame is doing well? All I know is that they've got one guy going in, one guy coming out, and everyone is rubbing off the other people around them. Times are good, my friend.

To answer your question, I don't think that the Cave was there. I think it was just the two of us (we can make it if we try). I don't think that Cave made an appearance until Friday or Saturday... but I could be wrong. What did we do that Thursday night? I think we stayed in, watched a little Browns pre-season action and some college football... does that sound right to you?

At 12:42 PM, September 21, 2005, Blogger Jack Fu said...

A.) It would have been hellish, if I really cared about the NFL. But nowadays, I find the league to be so homogenized that watching games NOT involving the Lions is something of a chore, and even Lions games are kind of "meh," since, I mean, they've won 17 games in the last 4 1/2 years...

B.) Sports media over the last three weeks or so:


I think we're all sick of it.

C.) It might have been just the two of us who were there when the "Green Day" thing happened, but Cave definitely came over at some point, because he brought his underaged concubine with him. It was the first time I had even heard of her, so I guess it was somewhat memorable.

At 3:41 PM, September 21, 2005, Blogger The Diddy said...

Things I somehow missed...from

"In the annals of I-AA teams upsetting I-A opponents, this may be the most stunning yet. The Aggies, who just a year ago were still competing in Division II, and who had lost their first two games this season to New Hampshire and Portland State, beat Stanford, a Pac-10 team that had opened its season with a 41-38 win over Navy. UC-Davis didn't just beat the Cardinal, either. They outgained them 361 yards to 180, held Stanford without an offensive touchdown and drove 72 yards in the final 2:49 for the winning touchdown."


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