Tuesday, November 15, 2005

It Looms....

Well kiddos, it's Michigan week. EEP!! Like the rest of you, I'm excited/frightened, bruised/juicy, matt jones/honkey//. Tragically, I'm required by the blog.net gods to give some anal-cyst and a prediction for The Game. Let's see where this takes us....

Let's be honest, there's one key to the game: Troy Smith. He's going to decide the game. Nothing like a good bit of pressure. Honestly, I still don't trust him. He's 6th in the country in passer rating. SIXTH!!! He trails only 3 heisman finalists, brian brohm, and default Texas Tech QB. I don't care. Everytime he goes back in the pocket I start sweating and eventually pee all over myself. I'm like Jeff full of Rum behind a shrub.

Troy is going to need some help. If the running game is working, Troy will play better due to easier coverages and such. San Antonio Pittman is everything I'd hoped he'd become this year, gaining weight and STILL hitting the hole hard. That makes him the anti-Lydown Loss. Good old "Flydell". He gained all the muscle and just wanted to hit the white girl's hole hard, which doesn't do much for me.

Things that scare me: Manningham. I hate him already. Plus, I don't trust our secondary. But holy crap, look at what they did against N'Western!?!? C'mon, who saw that coming? 7 points!! I think having played the Wildcats just a week before is a yooge help to them. Confidence is everything to the back 4.

Things that scare me: Dropped Picks. C'mon secondary, you HAVE to catch the ball. I think Henne is gonna try and force things. The D has to come away with those mistakes.

Things that scare me: We killed them last year + We're favored this year. Simply terrifying.

Here's what really scares me...The breakdown..

Running Game: Edge - OSU
The running backs are pretty much a push, but mobile QBs tend to give UM fits.

Passing Game: Edge - Push
OSU has more talent, but Troy likes to forget how to throw accurately.

Defense: Edge - OSU
The Bucks will shut down the UM ground game, can UM do the same to OSU?

Special Teams - OSU
Huston(fantastic) + Return game (probably best in OSU history) + Very solid punting = yooge

Intangibles - Push
UM at home vs. OSU confidence after they killed them last year vs. UM's motivation to beat OSU...errr.....
Intangibles - Michigan

Why does that scare me? If the turnover battle is net zero or even a slight UM advantage, I don't see any way OSU will lose. Is it possible Troy commits 5 fumbles? You bet, but not likely. Ummm...maybe not "super-likely" anyway.

What should happen....OSU pounds the vag with pittman, hits San Antonio Holmes/Gonzales for a couple big ones, solid special teams play, and OSU wins 34-20

What could happen...I still have no idea how Michigan beat Penn St. I have a bad feeling I'm gonna be saying the same thing about us Saturday afternoon. Troy has a mid-game lapse, a couple fumbles on returns, Manningham abusing the corners deep, and can't turn red zone trips into TDs: Michigan wins 24-19

What will happen...I'm gonna get drunk, most of the weekend. In fact, I hope I'm so "inebriated" that after I tear 17 ACLs I won't need to be "a-knee-brace-aided". ugh, that's awful, who's ready for a weekend full of those?!? This guy.

In summary of the OSU/Mich game, I have no idea how, but Michigan is going to win. It's like OSU is sitting there with pocket kings and the flop comes 7, 8, Q. Your opponent bets, and you just know you're beat. You have no idea how, but the loss is coming.

Other things in the world of football...
I'm honestly too angry to discuss Notre Dame. Everything about them...AHHHH!!!

Predicted BCS matchups...
Rose: USC vs. Texas
Orange: West Virginia vs. Miami
Fiesta: Notre Dame vs. Penn St
Sugar: Georgia vs. Oregon


At 12:13 PM, November 15, 2005, Blogger Jack Fu said...

I know WV is gonna make the BCS 'cause they're gonna win the shitty-ass Big LEast, but if Oregon makes it, too (and it's looking likely)? Those two will be the worst tandem of BCS teams since Colorado and Maryland lost by a combined score of 1,462-17 (okay, it was 94-40) in their respective BCS games after the 2001 season...

At 8:47 AM, November 16, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I couldn't agree more with your analysis. I have no idea how we're going to blow this game, but I'm as certain of this as I am that at least one heart attack is in my future. It's only Wed and I'm already sick about this weekend. One more reason to hate John Cooper--turning every Buckeye fan of our generation into completely cynical and despondent individuals. I'm going to have nightmares of Manningham catching lobs and tauntingly doing and "O-H"...i just know this will happen. On a brighter note, the 2002 Game is going to be on Classic friday, and if that isn't enough to get you in good spirits, then i think you're probably alrady dead.


At 11:22 AM, November 17, 2005, Blogger Torgonator said...

Diddy - "a-knee-brace-aided". Wow. You blew my mind to such an extent that I couldn't even laugh at it for about 5 minutes. Now I can't stop laughing. That might be my favorite... mind fuck/pun?... of yours in the last year. But you're not very funny... you should probably bring your A-frame (now THAT was a quality joke).

Wise - I agree that Cooper did a lot to contribute to the cynical tendencies of today's OSU fans... at least the OSU fans who were paying attention. However, it should be noted that Columbus is still the heart of the Land of Eternal Buckeye Optimism (LEBO) - a region which systematically ignores any and all facts surrounding the weaknesses of an Ohio State football team and the strengths of an opponent's team.

...I think we need to modify the name of the Land of Eternal Buckeye Optimism. Its acronym is too close to LESBO to not force the name to fit. Therefore, I will now call it the Land of Eternally Stupid Buckeye Optimism (LESBO). Then it shall be so, now and forever.

One last thing: Jeff has continued to stay up to date on theBlog.net happenings, but is too busy at work to put up any posts. He's getting a computer at home soon (!!!) and he thinks that he'll be more active after that happens.

Huzzah for Constitution!


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