Only gay teams punt in week 1

Nothing to complain about today. Those red zone stalls don't even bother me, we had freshmen in early and Tressel's playbook was smaller than the original Tecmo Bowl's (or my list of references). Beanie is fine, he just wanted an excuse to fumble. The Penguins only completed 3 passes all day and maybe had 3 first downs.
I think we're all having the same emotions about Pryor. He makes us feel like a fat white girl who wants to get back at her father...in other words, we loooove him.

Onto Michigan who seems to have mastered the spread offense defense. It seems that their offense is going to have no running game. It seems I say seems too much. The downside to the spread is that it can result in a lot of negative yardage. Coach Rodriguez, in an attempt to defy all traditions no matter how small, declined a halftime interview. Here's what it may have sounded like:

Reporter: After one half as head coach of Michigan you have 4 rushing yards, what kind of first impression do you think you're making today with the Michigan faithful?

Coach: Uhh, Spread! Fast! Spread offense! Fuck tradition!

Reporter: Oookay, I noticed your team is punting today, which I read was gay. I also wanted to ask about how you made it even gayer with that sideways punting formation...why so gay on special teams?

Coach: Great to be here!

As for the rest of the Big Ten, good job, especially you Northwestern and Indiana. JoPa challenged his team to score his age, and everyone except Michigan seems to be off to a good sta--oh, Michigan State still has to play? I have faith in Illinois, I trust they won't hand Mizzou the game 2 years in a row.

To sum up though, I think we looked strong, and Michigan's quarterback looks as high school as Youngstown State's punter (1.9 seconds of hang time?).

Your thoughts...