Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Nawlins Bowl 4th Quarter (yes, it goes on like this)

4th quarter.
It really feels like So Miss should be up by 2 TDs, but ASU is right in it. One big play in the 4th is gonna decide the game. Back from commercial, no MM, BUT right into Katrina stock footage. KRN 12. Double omega action makes a nice play for a 7 yard loss. Spielman makes note of the omegas, nice work. Yooge play for Almond and So Miss as he hit someone on the fly pattern down to the ASU 35. Headset on. Almond then shows off a little speed for a 10 yard gain. I’m telling you, he’s getting drafted. Ark St.’s band is entirely white. I find that odd, but have no reason for it. 3rd and 9 on the ASU 23, huge play. Almond pipes one to a WR that had fallen down. Headset on. THEN USM gets hit with a personal foul knocking them out of FG range. Wow. A really weak call. But, we get more fatty punter action. He boots it through the end zone on the fly. The gut has doesn’t use touch, it’s all power.

Ark St own 20 11:52
That’s two commercial sets in a row with no Mama McNabb. She’s gonna have to hurry up trailing 12-9 in the fourth to a tough KRN squad. Fumble by Ark St. on the first play….and….wow. Recovered by USM

USM on Ark St 23 11:41
But, it’s being reviewed. I’m pretty sure it’s gonna stand. Don’t forget, it’s the big 10 replay model. And wow, it’s not a she, it’s a he, and he’s not that cute. The play stands as called. 1st down USM. WOW!!!! San Antonio Warren also has dueling bicep omega action!!! I can see they’ve gained a new fan, which would be me. ASU has made a nice adjustment to stop the run. Holy crap, back story of interest: An ASU d-tackle was leaning on a dorm elevator door and it opened. The guy dropped 3 floors and hit face first on the elevator. Broke his entire body. Follow that up with a really late pass interference call in the end zone on 3rd and 9. 1st and goal a the 2. Cody Hull (USM RB) has set a NO Bowl record with 132 rushing yards. Good job? Nice, headset off then on in the same cut-a-way. False start on 2nd and goal from the one. Not important, they score from the 6. The TE gets cracked in the kidney for his effort. Headset on. Hands up. Pat. 31-19 Eagles.

Ark St. from own 29 8:15
I hope you, loyal reader, are still going strong. I’m already to 3,200 words. Good Lord. I’m not sure if they’ve rationed graphics in this game, but they refuse to show stats. Another broken play for ASU and No-chay gains 23 on a run. He’s gotta have close to 100 rushing yards himself. Follows that up with a broken play run of 8. Headset off. Somehow No-chay only has 60 rushing yards. I don’t believe it. Weird, ASU’s helmet stickers are “I Will”. That’s so lame. Oh dear, No-chay got crushed in the back of the head. He laid motionless for a few seconds, but gets up. ASU has to punt and it goes OB for no return.

USM from own 17 6:04
The Golden Eagles are looking to…wait KRN 13….run some clock here. Oooo, stats: but no total yards, I’m so over it. Wow, Almond rips a 20 yard pass on 3rd and 10. That’s killer for ASU. Really needed a stop there. So Miss led at halftime in 10 of 11 games this season. Nice work boneheads. Cody Hall continues to add to his NO Bowl rushing yard record as he gets another first. Johnny Damon signs as a Yankee, yuck. So Miss might run the clock out on this drive. Right on queue, hillbilly Roberts calls a timeout. Headset off. Headset on. Headset off. And not to be outdone…Headset on. That’s right, in one coach cut-away, Bower put his headset on and off twice. Headset on. Holy crap. They have footage of “the gut” proposing at mid-field to his girlfriend. I can’t believe it, that’s hilarious. During his proposal, he says why he loves her. Aflac Question #2: Why does the gut love his now fiancé? Meanwhile USM gets stopped on 4th

Ark St from won 27 1:02
No timeouts for No-chay as he’s back in the game. Awww, illegal touching against the Indians. Now they’re reviewing something. Ump checks his watch. Maybe dinner plans? The refs don’t say what they were doing. Start the clock, and picked off. Uhhh, sure, that makes sense.

USM from own 38 0:38
Anyway, Player of the game: Bower’s headset. Just kidding, it goes to Cody Hull 37 rushes, 161 yards, 1 TD. That’s right, 37 rushes. Nice work Jones getting in one more Katrina, that’s KRN 14. Take a knee, game over.

Final Score: So Miss 31 Ark St. 19
Katrina References: 14
Mama McNabb commercials: 9
KRN closes out the game on a 7-0 run, nice work Katrina, you managed to drown another fat black woman.

Finally, the answer to the Aflac Question 2. Why does the guy love his fiancé? If you guessed, “b\c you love Jesus”, you’re the big winner. Good night from Lafayette. The West version.

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