Saturday, January 28, 2006

Chuck Norris > Vin Diesel

So that site we had talked about on here before, the "Vin Diesel facts" one? Well, it has a bunch of other ones, all about Chuck Norris. Shockingly, I think they're even funnier than the Vin Diesel ones. Rather than plug through the whole swamp of Norris facts, it's probably more convenient to check out this Top 100, as voted on by site visitors. Most of them are really good, but if I had to pick a top 5, they would be:


"Chuck Norris does not hunt, because the word 'hunting' infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing."

"Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris."

"Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."

"Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier."

"Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise, he would have deleted the internet."

3 Comments:

At 8:38 AM, January 30, 2006, Blogger Ian C. said...

Whenever I feel myself getting down, looking at the Chuck Norris Facts immediately brightens my mood.

A favorite of mine: "Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did."

 
At 12:56 PM, January 30, 2006, Blogger Torgonator said...

A lot of these are so formulaic and similar that they cease to entertain me after a while, but here are some of my favorites. I found mine here.

"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."

"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean."

"Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down."

"Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell 'What The Fuck was That?'"

"Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them."

And for us nerds (I'm looking at you, Toddger): "Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

 
At 4:07 PM, January 30, 2006, Blogger Jack Fu said...

Regarding that site, Evan, the 40q.cc one I linked to has this specific message to their readers, posted a little over a week ago:

"It's come to our attention that other websites have sprouted up and feature 'facts' on Chuck Norris, Mr. T and Vin Diesel. Please note that these sites are not run by us, and I ask that their owners please remove any content that was stolen from this website since no permission was given to repoduce our content. Both of these sites will be taken care of through the legal process. I ask that you please do not go to those sites since each visit generates profit for them, and they do not deserve to reap any benefits from the theft of our content."


The Diesel/Norris Wars are apparently heating up...

 

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