Monday, January 16, 2006

Why college football is better than the NFL (plus hoops)

This past weekend, the NFL featured four really close games, one of which was otherworldly in its twists and turns, and still I sat there, breathing a big sigh of meh. That's when it fully hit me, a truth that I really did know all along, but which largely escaped verbalizing for me: I just do not give a crap about the NFL. On top of all of the homogenization, and the fact that you're rooting for employees of a corporation instead of kids representing a university, the games just don't offer that excitement or tantalization that the college game has in spades. If the four games over the weekend were played, with the exact same scores occurring, but the games featured Georgia and Florida, Texas and Oklahoma, OSU and Michigan, and Miami and Florida State, I would have been spellbound. As it was, I was whelmed. Not "overwhelmed" or "underwhelmed," but just whelmed. There, I created a word.

Bonus link which was funny at first and became a helluva lot funnier after yesterday: Lil' Ronnie really wanted the Colts to win. Poor kid. (Caution: watch out for the sound. It came up really loud on my computer when the page opened. But sit back and feel the vibe. You could get lost in that groove.)

Also on the weekend sports front, the Buckeye hoopsters lost a painfully predictable game with Michigan State yesterday. I say that because the game was predictable in outcome, if not intricacies. For instance, MSU is hailed as a pretty good team on the glass, which matches up ricockulously poorly for us, since our main, glaring weakness is rebounding; however, yesterday the Spartans only outboarded us 40-38 (and we pounded them on the offensive boards 13-6. WTF, mate?). Secondly, the Bucks had been living and dying - but mostly winning - with the three-pointer this year, but on this day we shot a measly 19% on triples (and 32% for the game. As Wonk would no doubt say, ye gods). Third, Je'Kel Foster and Maurice Ager, a couple of solid scoring guards who came in averaging an aggregate of about 37 points per game, went for 8 and 2 points, respectively. But, as I said, for all the anomalies each team exhibited, the outcome was fairly predictable: the Bucks would lose a close one. The two teams, when watching the game and looking at the stats afterward - and I have no tempo-free info, since Wonk is taking the day off - really appear to be as equal as you can get. The difference is that the Buckeyes are stupid, as Todd and I discussed yesterday after the game. The shot selection from the admittedly hot-shooting (normally) guards is about as poor as you can get. And with the fantastic position that Dials gets down low, the number of relatively easy baskets he misses is positively infuriating. To do all that work in getting to the point where he has a nice four-foot bunny of a shot, and then miss them as often as he does, just drives me crazygonuts. Seriously, it's getting me frustrated just thinking about it.

Thankfully, we have our other bitches, the West Virginia Fighting Pittsnogles, to help us get over it. They cranked out a Big East-record 20 three-pointers in their 104-85 drubbing of Marquette. Hurray for the 'Snogles hurray.

Edited to add: This humorous link, which was pointed out to me yesterday by a friend of Enjoy.


At 1:58 AM, January 17, 2006, Blogger Nipsey said...

Okay, I'll actually respond to the content of this post in a day or 2, but I thought all those involved with the MWB will be happy to know that Cave's beloved Erin has lost some weight and put out her very first music video:

(keep your eye out for the key-tar)

At 12:01 PM, January 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"As it was, I was whelmed. Not "overwhelmed" or "underwhelmed," but just whelmed. There, I created a word."

Created, huh? Errrrrrr....

Break of Dawn
(Still a proud member of Mr. Cook's English language army)

At 1:48 PM, January 17, 2006, Blogger Jack Fu said...

Well, I mean, you didn't get your wings for nothing. I still can't find mine, although I do still have a pretty nifty "Fear the Spear" doo-rag (and no, it's not the one about gay porn, JEFF. "This is so HOT!").

Although it should be said that the definitions there do not correspond with the way I was using the word. So I guess I didn't invent a word, per se, but I did, uh, import a new meaning into an existing word. Why not.

At 12:22 AM, January 18, 2006, Blogger Torgonator said...

"With these shoulder pads I have the strength to destroy villages, homes, and crops."
-"Gem Sweater" by Leslie Hall

I still don't know what to do with that video, but that line is fantastic. Oh, and Jeff? How in the world do you not have a keytar yet??

I saw a number of other videos just hanging out on the sidebar so I thought I'd give them a whirl. Here are some highlights:

1.) An ugly, androgynous kid gleefully sings the Pokemon theme song. Ugly kid + Pokemon guitar + mumbling + literally dozens of Pokemon collectibles = very yes.

Here are the lyrics I honestly think this kid is singing (if you can understand him better, feel free to offer corrections):

A nude picture lies ahead
The battle has begun
The Land of Funk brings a brand new playa
And I'll be number one

Fudgey fudge-packer by my side
Atorcheeke fuels my fire (burnin' rubber tires?)
I'm gonna be a Pokemon master
With Ruby and Sapphire

Bugurgle-urp on your do
Of course you can pick a Jew
Such bitches at the end!
In a world they must defend

Aqua Magma better get by-y
When my shroomin' sharks do attack
And no one will be at the top of the pecker POKEMON!
(Gotta catch 'em all!)

And keep your eye out for the photo of the kid and what looks like two high school cheerleaders from 1972.

2.) Here's the scoop, this video focuses on an asian man's erection, and finishes with an inexplicable 30 second montage featuring Enya. Yeah, I don't know either.

3.) Okay, I must warn you: for those of you who don't deal well with awkward situations DO NOT WATCH! This video features a weatherman for a local news team in Charlotte, North Carolina who obviously thinks he's the funniest guy ever - and (you know where I'm going with this) he's totally not. This is very much "The Office" come to life.

At 1:26 PM, January 19, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every now and then I find myself devising a plan to one day "re-acquire" the aforementioned Marine City Memorabilia. You have been warned.

Break of Dawn

At 3:12 PM, January 19, 2006, Blogger Jack Fu said...

Warning noted.

And you are more than welcome to try. You'll have to break into my foolproof safe, guarded by a Robotic Richard Simmons.

At 3:52 PM, January 19, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As I've had the "pleasure" of semi-meeting the real Richard Simmons, I know what to expect. I'm sure no robot replication could quite compare.


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