Thebowl.challenge: One game left!
Hola, kiddies. I arrived back at home from one of my semi-yearly pilgrimages to Columbus yesterday, not having checked theblog.net or the super duper thebowl.challenge in several days. So now, a scant two hours from gameti-- urr, the beginning of the yawn-worthy "fellate USC"-fest (Sidenote: Shelley Smith is reporting on her conversation with Leinart's Dad right now on SportsCenter) that the pregame is going to be, I'm going to update everyone on what our little standings are, as well as who should be rooting for whom and who will win if Texas wins and when USC wins.
|1||Charlie Weiss is Fat||J. Wise||17-10||1||256|
|2||Santa's Little Helper||Maw and Paw Moyer||18-9||8||250|
|3||This is My Entry||P. Wholezinga||17-10||23||247|
|3||Splatterdome Brady Quinn||J. Moyer||17-10||11||247|
|3||Steven Scrumptious||J. Maynard||17-10||2||247|
|6||Jew-Drew Brees||T. Hykes||16-11||8||234|
|8||Unoriginal Bastard||R. Davis||15-12||28||230|
|10||Tedd E Inge 4 Heisman||S. Mizer||15-12||4||211|
|11||Wiggly Jiggly's Picklies||Z. Zaret||14-13||15||202|
|13||Big Jim Slade's Winners||A. Schill||13-14||13||182|
Anyway, what does all this mean? (Sidenote #2: Wilbon just predicted a 42-40 final score for tonight's game. I guarun-Goddamn-TEE you that the score won't be that high. People just flat-out don't give a shit about defense, and Texas plays great defense, so an extremely strong facet of their team is being completely ignored. More on this, sort of, later) I examined who everyone picked for tonight's OMG BIG GAME, and discovered that 9 people picked Texas while 5 went with USC. Somewhat surprising. Anyway, if the Tro-men beat Tay-hass, the top 5 of the pick 'em will end up looking like this, barring some unforeseen math dumbassedness from me:
|2||Splatterdome Brady Quinn||J. Moyer||18-10||0||258|
|2||Santa's Little Helper||Maw and Paw Moyer||19-9||0||258|
|2||Unoriginal Bastard||R. Davis||16-12||0||258|
|5||Charlie Weiss is Fat||J. Wise||17-11||0||256|
According to my admittedly rudimentary calculations, we won't end up with nearly the Mongolian clusterfaulk at the top of the leaderboard if a Texas victory results. To wit:
|1||This is My Entry||P. Wholezingah||18-10||0||270|
|2||Charlie Weiss is Fat||J. Wise||18-10||0||257|
|3||Santa's Little Helper||Maw and Paw Moyer||17-11||0||250|
|4||Steven Scrumptious||J. Maynard||18-10||0||249|
|5||Splatterdome Brady Quinn||J. Moyer||17-11||0||247|
Hence, despite being in the lead right now, "Charlie Weiss is Fat" has a 0.0% chance of winning this thing. Also, I want to kill ESPN for not recognizing that I picked Alabama to beat Texas Tech, suffering an infuriating loss of 21 points because of my "no pick" in that game. It also bears mentioning that I inexplicably lost my 28, 27, AND 26-point games (Michigan, Auburn, and Georgia, respectively). And I'm still guarunteed of finishing in the top-5 of this thing. You morons.
Also, regarding USC-Texas, and more specifically all the "OMG USC IS THE BEST TEAM EVER EVER EVER EVER" bullshit, here's the link to the slate article I talked about - at length - this week. Huzzah. Go Longhorns. Fuck USC. And the popular sports media.
Edited at 7:58 to add: Sorry, Texas. I was rooting for you. But Corso just picked the 'Horns to "shock the universe" and beat USC. Fowler agreed, but the damage had already been done. Time to go watch Keith Jackson ruin what will probably be a good game. Again.