Saturday, February 24, 2007

Who would you rather be?

Sure we sucked against Penn State and other teams lately and I'm just as frustrated as the rest of you but let's look at who is really doing well lately.
Of course I'm stupid to write this before tomorrow's big game but after thinking about it, our guys must be doing something right. After seeing what happened to the Badgers the other night I feel a little better. How did our dumbasses win in East Lancing? Who knows, but we did. If we beat Wisconsin tomorrow they will have finished the season very poorly. I wouldn't trade places with them because the tournament isn't played at their little isolated rink.

Or would you rather be Florida? yes Rob They got pounded by Vandy last week and now just lost to LSU sans Big Baby. How do you think their fans feel?

UCLA has won a few in a row and supposedly the Pac 10 is the best conference this year, but really, how hostile can the Quack Attack be? (Do they call their gym the pond?) This isn't the 90's, learn to beat Stanford...And West Virginia?

North Carolina keeps losing to conference foes who also own them in football. Wouldn't that suck? You just wait Virginia Teach, we'll take you in the round ball this winter! Nope, didn't, either time.

Kansas, they're known for fucking up everyone's bracket by losing early. I don't know how many times I've been at a sports bar or a high school basketball game and heard, "Kansas is down 8 with 4 minutes left!" That news spreads like wildfire and once again the Jayhawks piss down their birdy legs while you're left listening to some old man you don't even know bitch to you about how that messed his bracket up and oh look, he's pulling it out of his smoky little jacket to show you the wrinkled mess....and his bracket (hi-oooo!)

Memphis...umm, yeah I wouldn't mind being Memphis now but Peter Griffin pops out to say, "C'mhoooooon..." Memphis? Really? They haven't played anyone. They beat the 'Zags by one the other night. I'm guessing they're a lot more "athletic" than Gonzaga.

Texas A&M opponents can just call Bobby Knight for a scouting report on how to win.

Washington State? What? Besides being the only football team with 2 different colored helmets they're not cool enough to have a great shot at getting anywhere in the tournament. Someone will stick them with the 11:00 am game toward the east coast against an SEC team. There's your token 14-3 seed upset if they start that high.

Pitt might start well but then Dave Wansted will show up, jinx everything, and before you know it the whole team will be falling all over the place like one of those stupid Disney sports movies where a ghost interferes with a basketball game.

(these arguments are getting more and more reliable)

Georgetown...They could worry me. We all remember last year. Do they still have 1 or 2 guys who insist on wearing a light gray t-shirt under their jersey that turns dark gray from sweat? If you look at their schedule though you'll see on any given day they decide not to show up, ask Old Dominion.

Something feels dirty about Nevada. They doesn't even have the highest RPI in its state. They're 12 behind UNLV. Speaking of other teams who have won a lot of games against no one, Air Force. That team doesn't sound "athletic" either.

Butler..."Hey we're good, remember when we won a bunch of games last month? 'member?" All of a sudden Cindy Lauper pops out and belts, "I see your truuue colors shining through!"

I live in St. Louis, I've heard plenty about the Missouri Valley Conference. I'm still not sure where this valley even is but I know AM Radio practically gives each team a hand job because it's a Cinderella school. Wait, that wouldn't be a hand job then, that would be...

Duke. Their point guard is turning out to be as overrated as his older brother. Still, if ACC clock officials are in charge of a subregion, anything could happen.

West Virginia and the rest of the teams that shuffle in and out of the top 25 shouldn't win it all. Sure one of them could make it to the Final Four but I like the odds for the teams I just said sucked. Now the fun part will be seeing which team wins it all, seeing what I said about them and then reminding me it doesn't matter who they lost to earlier in the year 'cause "conference road games are hard."

3 Comments:

At 12:26 PM, February 26, 2007, Blogger Jack Fu said...

One thing that I didn't take into account amongst all my naysaying, something I should have thought about, is just who the hell IS playing really well right now? Who's really in better shape than us? Some teams, definitely. Hopefully I'll be able to explore this a little more in-depth sometime soon.

 
At 12:28 PM, February 26, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

See? We're great! Everyone sucks! Remember that the Fag 5 lost 7 Big Ten games that year.

 
At 8:47 AM, February 27, 2007, Blogger The Dur said...

I would no longer like to be Georgetown either. Also in the Costas post, I have tried to correct the first sentence 3 times and for some resean it won't let me edit yester into yesterday.

 

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