Thanks ABC

Normally a network acts like the game is going to be interesting...the intro music tonight had the chorus, "It Ends Tonight..." Now we go to Robert Horry doing his best Joe-Pa, "They're gonna be really tough to beat, blah blah blah." Now to talk about how this year is still a success.

I'm expecting around the 3rd quarter that voice from Mortal Combat to say, "Finish Him!" Tim Duncan's a nice guy though right? He'll do a "Friendship" on us...no actually with LeBron's son being born today it's more likely to be a "Babality." What? No one else still plays Mortal Combat III?

So far this year I've got the quad-fecta of letdowns. The Yankees look like they're going to cut it to 7 1/2 today...could they rally into the playoffs and lose as well? What would the odds of that be. Has anyone else had their 5 favorite teams all get 2nd in one year? Do you think Deadspin would buy my story? (and by buy I mean, give a shit)

Other song cues for ABC "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Let's Start Over." Brilliant.

LeBron said being tired won't be an excuse for tonight. Great, he's braced himself. The entire Spurs team is calm and confident. They may put us away very very early. Tony Parker might dribble out the clock and accidentally throw the ball into the air with 2:19 left in the 2nd. What him Duncan and Parker got into a little pissing contest about who could win MVP.

You know when the Spurs won this Championship? When they beat the Suns. They faced their toughest opponent in the second round and things got easier from there. EASIER! Can you imagine someone saying, after you beat Denver and the Suns all you have to do is beat Utah and Cleveland to win it all. Are you better than those 4 teams? "Well Cleveland beat us in the regular season twice so--"
"Timmy, I hate to tell you this, but the rest of us don't give a shit about the regular season. We, well you, got us the #3 seed and then we decided to play."
Tim, "Oh, that's cool. I love everyone."

I can't imagine being in the crowd there. What a joke it must be like. How many fat broads from Stubenville used their "good" cardboard box to make a sign that says "We beleave!"