Saturday, November 08, 2008

Halloween Hangover

They just said that Tressell is 1-4 coming off of bye weeks. Northwestern has beaten us once in thirty-some years. Guess who was at that game...sitting front row, 50 yard line, in the middle of the Northwestern section (though 75% of the place was OSU fans)...Me. We lost in overtime as I was taunted as I left my seat waiving my fingers in the air, though I did care. But those days are over. Zwick was our QB, and it was a rebuilding year. OK, stop staring at that girl's spine and prepare for my childish thoughts on the game. By the way, does Penn State ever play Michigan State this year? Ahh, they do on November 22. Should Iowa somehow upset Penn State today we still have a chance at another Big Ten Championship. Corso puts on the Elephant head yet again and is beating Herbie with the trunk. 'Bama is his pick. Now onto our game vs. Northwestern (please let Pam Ward be at another game...YES!)

Prekickoff, the Northwestern fans are shaking their keys. Wow, that must be...loudish. I hope our men aren't scared. Kickoff is delayed as Lucy yanks ball off of the tee. It looks like we'll have the crowd on our side as Northwestern continues to place academics as a priority for college admission. Losers. A decent kickoff return and a facemask on the first play from scrimmage starts us in good field position.

Robiske picks up a first down followed by Wells pulling his Eric Metcalf impression and losing close to 10 yards on a run. After 5 or 6 runs he's still negative yardage, 3rd and 16.

Hartline makes a catch inside the 5 and is tackled by the wind on the 2. Touchdown Beanie, with 10:48 left in the 1st quarter. (I can't get my paragraphs spaced so I may need to insert more pictures to add aesthetics.

What I wouldn't do for some Catfish Biff's Pizza right now. if you're in the campus area, I believe the number is still 614-421-7421. Back to us trying to play defense. Northwestern's first drive is being sparked by Kafka. We haven't had this much trouble against a white QB since that guy from Washington a few years ago. I don't imagine he'll be able to take hits like this all day. They're into the redzone though keeping the game more interesting than this blog.
Here's a guess, they're going to shotgun the snap to Kafka and he'll run it...again...and into the endzone. Another flag on the play most likely on us,ahh, both of them. Good to see Northwestern sticks to their high school stadium theme and refuses to get nets behind the goalpost. 7-7 midway through the first quarter.
Possession #2...Apparently there's a battle between coaches as to who can win using the least amount of their playbook as possible. 3 and out as our offensive line continues to blow.
Northwestern ball, moral victory as we've gone 3 plays without a penalty, they'll punt it back. The announcers have resorted to the "BCS system bad, why don't we have a playoff?" talk already.
Pryor seems to be cold. Ray Small is suspended. The 1st quarter is over, somewhere in the stadium sit my brother-in-law, 2 of my nephews, and my niece wondering why TBDBITL never makes the trip. In other news, Michigan leads 6-0.
2nd quarter: Wells with an OJ Simpson like run! He's stopped at the line, stabs a white girl, and takes off for the endzone. Tressell has found a way to have our shitty offensive line draw the defense in clearing a way for Beanie to make his way into the endzone.
Momentum has shifted and OSU recovers a fumble deep in smart whiteboy territory! You would think with Wells and Pryor we could somehow do some sort of throwback trickeration. How about a flea-flicker into a running play. No? You're right, it's 3rd and 10 and we're doing draw plays. 17-7 with 10:04 left in the half.
8:23 left in the first half, we finally stop Kafka's shotgun running play! Here's a thought, the Big East gets an automatic BCS bid, right? West Virginia leads the Big East and is ranked just 23rd. Can we get them in the Orange Bowl? I've also just noticed the Planter's commercial with the ugly redhead who rubs a peanut on herself to become attractive...count how many times her giant facial mole moves from one side of her face to the other.
Another solid drives sustained by 3rd and longs, but Alex Boone does his best to cockblock a drive that would put the game away by halftime with a headbutt. Pryor again though! 3rd and 16 plus a late hit, we're back to their side of the field with under 3 minutes left in the half. Robsike...touchdown! Pryor will be everything next year. 24-7 going into the half...I hope...I'm putting the laptop down to make pasta salad.
Something something, field goal by Northwestern. Another late hit out of bounds made by a player in bounds. You know what I'd like to see just once? Pryor return a kickoff. 24-10 with 11 minutes left in the 3rd.
Kafka has 23 rushes in the middle of the 3rd quarter. Maybe when your coach is only 33 you don't have the luxury of a muti-page playbook (you all know what reference is coming). I don't blame him, he grew up in the Tecmo Bowl age. Yet another thing I would have liked to seen...a team on there who has 3 running plays and just one passing play. Jenkins just drilled Kafka on his 24th rushing attempt. Maybe we're catching on as Northwestern is forced to punt...cut to chili and eggs recipe. Andre Ware (on Tecmo Super Bowl Detroit roster) makes a fart joke. Grind the clock out.
The ghost of Troy Smith takes over on a pass to Hartline who is again tackled by nature. And wow...I cannot type the words to describe that last touchdown, maybe...FranVinceYoungElwayarkington-esque. Can we just fast forward to next year?
Late in the 4th, fake punt? Was that an audible? Did Tressell actually call that? And then a long bomb! 38-10 and 2004 has been avenged. Surely nothing else could be blog worthy...I'll be signing off from here as my fiancee finds it ridiculous that I'm blogging a game anyone can watch on ESPN2. She may have a point.


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