Sunday, March 25, 2007

Still on track...

...for Operation: Destroy Dur's Hopes and Dreams III.

As I'm watching the last few minutes of this Florida/Oregon game I'm just thankful I'm not a Duck fan. Porter can't hit anything. His off balance summer league three's that fell on Friday are now airballs. The Ducks are fouling out Memphis Tigers. Does Noah have to scream and gesture at every fucking play? His Her teammates have to be sick of her by now. After ths game she'll be running up and laughing to each one of them while saying, "Weeeee'rrrre baaa-acck!" They all pretend to laugh a little and then roll their eyes. "Hey, hey guys! (here he goes again) Weee'rrrre baaa-aack! Get it, like back to the Final Four?! We---"
"OK, shut the fuck up Noah!" Awkward team silence. "Look, me and the guys are sick of it! Your dancing, your yelling like a soprano (not the mob kind either), your stupid hair on all of our soap. We're sick of it! Just because you're the tallest chick with a penis doesn't mean we like you. Everyone knows you push your free throws with your left hand."
Noah puts head down...sulks a bit. "Sorry guys, I didn't know. I really am. I just have one thing to say."
"What's that?"
"Weeee'rrrre baaa-aaaack!"
"That's it, you guys beat the hell out of her while I pee on her mouthguard!"

So, onto our game. The stat that jumps out and ultimately made the game safe at the end was that we made 18 straight free throws. Apparently some guy named Dorsey talked shit about Oden before the game. Note to Dorsey: Big Ten centers are better than Conference-USA posts. Dorsey's giant shoulder to points ratio was 2:0.

We still aren't shooting well at under 30% from 3 point range. We're still getting everyone else's best shooting performance. They were near, if not matching Tennessee's 3 point percentage in the first half.

It all comes down to if Oden is in the game. (And game finally ends with Noah yelling something to someone in stands. I have a good idea of what it is) You all already knew that. So should we make the finals against what I can only assume will be Florida what do we need to happen?
(I claim no responsibility of jinxing if we lose our next game just for writing this blog) I guess the same is true for our semi-final game.

--Can't withstand other team's best shooting performance like we did Xavier, Tennessee, and most of the Memphis game.

--Must shoot much much better from 3. That means you Bookler Butler and Cook.

--Oden must play at least 30 minutes of the game.

Other than that there isn't much else. We're rebounding well (or at least it looks like it). After that I just leave it up to God's hands on whether or not this is some elaborate plan for me to give up on sports completely. Sometimes in sports the story of revenge holds true. The Red Sox got it to work, why not us?

Noah: "OK, what about this guys? When we get to Atlanta and get off the bus...right when the CBS cameras find me I'm going to say, "Theeeey're heeeeeeeerrrrre!"


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