Friday, March 20, 2009

I thought Sienna would have more white guys

I'm worried about losing my CBS coverage as Missouri/Illinois thinks they need to watch Wisconsin instead of Ohio State. It's 8-8 and I've been drinking since 2:30 so don't count on this blog being an entire game (really Rob, you're going to bail during a game...again?!). Yes.

Does anyone else think that redheaded girl in the Chevy commercial is annoying as shit? "That's a big girl car!" She's a terrible actress. I know she's 8 and it's a commercial, but she's awful at what she does and I'm sick of her.

See, this liveblog isn't a good idea right now. I'll probably end up having to watch the game on NCAA.com on the good computer in a few minutes.

Wow--Diebler may be the WORST fast break player in division I history. That was honestly the ugliest attempt I've ever seen. And PJ Hill just fired one up from NBA range...where he'll never play.

17-15 Buckeyes, Sienna keeps turning the ball over, some from steals meaning we're better athletically...except Diebler. Good lord was that ugly!

Under 4 and we're up 4...FINALLY a great possession where there were passes all over the place. John Wooden is smiling from his grave...wait-what? He's still alive? Oh, good. Anyway, it's nice to play against a team whose guards may be worse than ours.
With 4 minutes left in the half, I'm convinced that both teams are on the take.

And Diebler goes down...oh no, what will we do. Who will go 3-11 on three's for us? Perhaps now we can do what's called a "fast break."

Ugly continues...we get confused on a half court trap again...hmm, 2 guards and a man in the middle always worked in SEVENTH GRADE!

Again we're just about to the half and this is a tournament game in March. It looks like OSU vs. Athletes in Action in early November. Meanwhile, I new them boyz from Cleveland State would do their thang against Wake Forest! (Can you tell I want to use the slur in a non-racist good way that us white guys only do with our friends, but can't?)

SO THIS WAS THAD'S TIMEOUT?!!!

OK guys, dribble around 35 feet from the bucket, and then don't even get an attempt off...perfect!

This game is the equivalent to a Michigan football offensive performance...we're lucky they're sucking too.

Halftime notes: A few (9) years ago Read Wise and I thought we would become the official Cape Dudes of OSU. That black guy in the Cowboy hat and white outfit seems to get on every effing game now. He probably has some advantages like a salary and a savings account, but he's at EVERY GAME. Some day that will be us.

2nd half--Diebler fading away on the 3 and coming up short...gets the loose ball on a fast break, dribbles to the corner and hands it to someone who deserves a Div. I scholarship PJ Hill.

I'm drunk and this game still looks ugly. Beer goggles don't work on basketball.

If PJ Hill bricks a 3 to Buford who makes it, does that count as an assist? We're up 9 and could easily put this game away.

Timeout....remember a few years ago when we had guys who could do stuff? That was awesome.


Timeout again--we're up 11, I'm on my 8th beer, and Mullins has discovered the ball. The most interesting thing should be Cleveland State's outcome. 2 commercials in a row with a piano solo.

Diebler is 0-5 now...useless. Bored...look at this guy's picture!

Hey--remember when Mullins scored EVERY TIME DOWN to put us up 11? Neither do our guards.

And there goes our lead...it's down to 4 as Thad plays 2 scrubs...and PJ Hill continues to forget to remember to take charge of the ball. Wake is still down 9.

2 point game now as Sienna fat fans jump around. PJ Hill still hasn't figured out how to get the ball across half court in a half court press. Louisville will/would have destroyed us.

Diebler bricks again, Hill makes it? Whaaa? Then Diebler can't rebound on the other end. He's worthless tonight, Thad, get him out of there!

We're up 4 with 8:30 left why not bomb a three before the rest of the team can get down the court.

OUR POINT GUARD HAS 4 GD TURNOVERS NOW!

Wait, why was Walter Offutt in the game earlier? Check out his stats and see if you think Thad was right to include him tonight at a crucial part of the game.

Make that 5 turnovers for Hill, same for Turner who refuses to get his free throws to the rim.

Holy shit! Diebler made one! PJ Hill loses his cool and pushes someone after the whistle, idiot. ( I hope he googles himself and reads this)

As a college coach, at what point do you take Lauderdale aside and reteach his free throws?

Diebler 1-9. For as bad as this game is, should we win, I can't imagine being the team who lost this ugly ass game. This game will be beaten by its step parents for being so terrible. Also, he cannot rebound. It's up to our free throw shooting with under 2 minutes to go. Oh good, here comes Lauderdale at 46% into the game, good move Thad. OK OK good defense, now take him out for offense. Uner a minute, 4 point lead, we'll need to make 4 of 6 free throws in this final minutes to avoid a buzzer beater in my expert drunken opinion.

Mullins 0-1. 0-2...there it is...3 pointer because we're idiots.

In what I'll call our worst posession of all time, we dribble it out and give Turner a contested 20 footer that has no chance. They make 1-2 (had Mullins done that this game would be over). We have the ball and will no doubt miss and do something stupid...told ya.

Diebler improves to 2-10 and we're down 1, tied, up one.

Buford does his usual..."I can't score with under 10 minutes left in the game." Our guards have been given bonus time to figure this half court press out and still can't do it. Honestly, Turner is going to the NBA?

It's not saying much but Mullins may be my favorite player. He rebounds and saves one to Hill. PJ to shoot with less than 10 seconds. Timeout...So really, if we can't make 2 and stop them from hitting a 3, well, this blog will take another hiatus.

Well fuck me...why not foul?

I don't think I've ever hated a group of players so much.

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