Pope on a rope
No, this post will not discuss possible pope suicide by way of hanging. Although, I kinda wish it did. However, a new pope was elected today. Some 78-year-old German. He won't even have to commit suicide. The ravages of age will do the trick soon enough. His new elderly holiness was chosen over several worthy candidates. There was another cardinal challenger who was nominated late and made a strong push at the end.
Above: Before being nominated
Below: After hearing the nomination.
Tragically he just couldn't get enough votes to overtake the kraut. Even though the tree is known as a great leader and for a pine-fresh sent, he just couldn't overcome for his liberal cardinal views and being "prickly that hurts." Oh, for fun
It feels like a two-part post.
I'm overdue for another pointless list of which I decide. Today's list? Worst baseball free agent pickups of the last 5 years. It maybe should be the most unfortunate, but I've already titled it. Anyway, let's see how it goes.
5) Chan Ho Fart - Rangers 2002
So back in ought-2 the rangers decided they needed to improve their pitching. The answer? Overspend on a quality starter. What they did? Overspend on Chan Ho Park. In the 2 years with the dodgers before the texas pay day, Fart averaged 17 wins and an era of about 3.60. In his 3 years since with texas, he's averaged 4 and a half wins and eras of 5.75, 7.58, and 5.46. However, he is still with the team, but that's probably b\c no one wants that salary. Well done texas, you get spot number 5.
4) Robbie Alomar - Mets 2002
Mr. Spitter averaged .323/20/100 and 34SB in the four years with the Indians before the deal to switch to the NL. His 2 seasons with the Mets? .264/7/35 and 6 SB per season. That's quite a change. Also, he gets major bonus points for single-handedly ruining my fantasy team in '02. That fuck.
3) Juan Gone - Tigers 2000
Let's face it, he never wanted to go there, cried about the deep fences, and was a pentulent child. He spent one season in Detroit before skipping town. In 2000 he went .289/22/67, which isn't terrible. However, in the years that surround 2000 he went .326/39/128 and .325/35/140. Just think Tiger fans, if he'd even approached that they might have made the playoffs. And don't you think management would have checked to make sure he wanted to be a Tiger? I guess not.
2) Mike Hampton - Rockies 2001
At one point, someone actually thought you could pitch in Coors with the right guy. The rockies spent about $90 mill on a great sinker baller with the thought he'd keep in down and show pitching could be done well in Denver...whoops. In the previous SEVEN season before joining colorado he never had an era higher than 3.80. That's good. Two season in coors? 5.41 and 6.15. Wow, that's quite a change. We all learned that no pitch can break at all in the thin air and the rockies screwed themselves with a huge contract. But that wasn't enough to bring home number one...
1) Derek Bell - Pirates 2001
Pittsburgh in a small market team, so a 2-year/9.6 million contract means something. That's what they paid for Derek Bell. He's the worst pick-up because he was already sucking when they got him. He had hit .330 about 4 years before that and had done nothing since. Plus, it's freaking derek bell, everyone knew he sucked. but the pirates were desperate, and they got what they paid for...46 total games .173/5/13 in a half season. He then got hurt and demoted to AAA where he rode out the rest of his contract and the buckos had to pay it. I hope that GM lost his job, b\c he should have been shot.
Didn't make the cut
Griffey Jr. (Reds) - He's at least be helpful when healthy which hasn't been often. But his first year in cincy was solid
Moises Alou (Cubs) - He did NOTHING until his contract year. I hate him.
The Dodgers - They really wanted to be the yankees of the NL and overspend to get great players. They accomplished the overspend, but forgot great players. Karros, Mondesi, Dreifort?? Those guys did nothing and made a butt load of money. Basically like the current Knicks. But the nba would be another list for another day.