Summing Up the Dids in 16 Easy Installments
Verbally fellating Nipsey made me think of some other great moments in the lives of other contributors to this esteemed blog. So in the same spirit, I will also attempt to highlight some favorite moments of The Diddy and Jack Fu.
First up will be Dids. This will not be an easy feat. I've known Dids longer than the other guys and have spent quite a bit more time with him. Nipsey's moment are so memorable, most often because they are so ridiculous, but Dids and Jack Fu I think will be tougher.
I'm very very certain that I am going to miss a whole lot of great moments in this list, especially from early in college. But that's just the risk I have to take. Accept that this list will not be comprehensive and your life shall be spared.
Let's do this. Now I bring you my...
...FAVORITE DIDS MOMENTS!!
...in roughly chronological order.
1.) Playing The Bangals' "Eternal Flame" any time he just wanted to piss of Jeff "The Assman" Arszman.
2.) Jeff Arszman's Brown Log of Doom (with a +7 against flushing). This was an epic struggle of Todd and Jason vs. Arszman and his log. After dropping The Log That Would Not Flush (TLTWNF), Arszman refused to help the situation... but he did suggest to Dids that he take a plastic knife and cut up his poo. How considerate. This story was so good that I checked back at regular intervals during the day to see how the story was unfolding.
3.) "One size fits most."
4.) Walking the Diddy and Joanna back to Todd's apartment after Jeff's New Year's Eve 2003 party. Todd couldn't even walk straight. At the time it was the most drunk I had ever seen him and it was hilarious.
5.) Driving to Lonestar Steakhouse for dinner on the first day of the 2003 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. "Who's gonna drive?" "Who's the least drunk?" "Todd" "Okay then." Admittedly not one our smarter moments but at least it was a fun drive and Todd was fine.
Incidentally, this reminded me that there was another couple great Nipsey moments: when he graciously handed over the rest of the Texas Rose (fried onion bullshit thing) to Kristin without caring if she wanted it or not. This wouldn't have been so funny if he wasn't struggling so much to do it in his drunken state. Also, "You... you got a little spunk on ya," is pure legend at this point.
6.) One moment I wasn't there for and I hate myself for it... but I can picture it happening and my mental image is still worth listing here. During one night of poker at Phil and Sean's old apartment on W Norwich, Sean was getting bullied every which way by Todd. Sean would get decent cards... Todd would raise significantly... Sean would fold. Rinse and repeat. The Caveman was teetering on the brink of a rampage for a while and something finally set him over. Cave finally got two cards that just couldn't be beat and he just couldn't wait to dish out his revenge. The exact details of the betting are sketchy, but essentially Cave was limping around with his monster hand, trying to bait Todd into betting big again, but Todd had figured out right away that Cave had him beat and that he wanted revenge. So after a small bet by the Caveman, Todd, who had been in all those previous hands bullying him, folded. Cave's eyes got really wide as he stared at Todd in disbelief... then he reached over the table and smacked Todd. Unbelievable... but yet totally believable.
7.) Playing poker on Phil's balcony one night, Todd was a bit gassy. Nothing too shocking here. But on this particular evening, his burps were repulsive even by his standards. So he, of course, unleashed one directly into Phil's face. Phil then proceeded to run into his apartment and gag and curse for five minutes. It was fantastic.
8.) The 2 week period where Todd was able to drive the Caveman to rampage mode with only these words: "I just tore three ACLs." It made no sense, really, why it would infuriate him, and that's what made it so funny.
9.) Todd becoming comatose after a quick dance with Old Dan Tucker and Cabana Boy during Fiesta Bowl 2004
10.) Todd and me convincing Phil enough that his name is "Jack Parlance" that he actually got up to look it up on the Internet.
11.) Any phone conversation involving Todd and the Cave.
12.) Come to think of it, any time Todd and the Cave are together.
13.) Cuervo 2004: When I was absolutely livid with the events unfolding in a poker game in the basement, Todd turned on No Doubt's rendition of "It's My Life" - which made it impossible for me to be angry, which is really what I wanted to be at that particular time.
14.) Dancing and singing to Britney Spears's "Toxic" in the Dub Pub (this is The Erin Night).
15.) Working in the lyrics to Lil' Jon's "Get Low" whenever possible - especially where it doesn't fit.
16.) Slapping each other in Halo 2 for one-and-a-half straight hours.
Least Favorite Moment?: "Alright, here's what you wanna do... take a knee." Bastard.
So that is a first effort. In no way is it complete, but it was a fun ride. "My kids love it, it's safe, and it's fun."
Post comments with any others you think of.