Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Nawlins Bowl 2nd Quarter

2nd Quarter

If he [Warren] can’t come back that would be yooge for the Indians. Commercial. So there’s a movie coming out about the West Texas Spooks team (with 5 spooks) that beats the Kentucky Third Reich (with 0 spooks). Can’t say I’m surprised. I wonder who gets to play racist Rupp? I hope it’s Jon Voight. I think he’s a racist anyway. Back to the game, ASU gets sacked, time to punt. Blah blah. Starwipe and commercial

USM from the USM 20 14:08
Still no points in this game and it’s been mildly entertaining. USM really brings the wood when they hit (emphasis on when) and kinda fun. So Miss just does whatever they want on offense, which includes giving it back to Ark St. Update on RB Warren, right ankle sprain that’s been lingering all season. Return is questionable. Oh crap, Dusty Almond Joy makes a terrible throw on third down and they’ll have to punt. At least they didn’t turn it over. Punter gut is out…HAHAHA…ASU lines up offsides on 4th and 3. The nawlins bowl is “using the big 10 replay model” according to Mark Jones. I hope she’s good looking. And ANOTHER fumble!! Recovered by So Miss and they keep possession. Oh dear, Warren is limping off to the locker room. Meanwhile, there’s a first down for So Miss. And ZIP, Almond chucks a nice throw. Dusty has a really strong arm. Also, he takes a late hit, but it’s not called nor mentioned by the announcers. A methodical drive here by USM down to the Ark St. 20. Oh dear, Almond throws a pick but it’s dropped. Ark St. blitzes on third and Dusty throws it away. 31 yard FG attempt….eeee….wobbly (whambles?)…and it’s good.
Sooooo Miss 3 Ark St (not pine-bluff) 0

Where’s the friggin trivia question?!?! Anyway…kickoff

Holy crap…a yooge return for a TD in which he made 360 move and ran backwards 5 yards, got the edge and was gone. Doh, penalty [holding] on the other side of the field.

Ark St. from the ASU 20 9:40
Well, first play goes for a 50-yard pass right over the top, why not. 3rd and 1, and the ASU RB is flipped over and is inches short. They’re going for it. 4th and 1 from the 21. They get it, BUT false start. Nice. 4th and 6 now and a 45 FG attempt straight on….hooks it in. The Indians tie it up.
Sooooo Miss 3 ASU 3

Sweet, Trivia Question: Ark St is making it’s first bowl along with 3 other teams. Name those teams. Ok, will do

USM from the USM 29 6:28
And a great pass by Dusty on 1st down. Almond is gonna get drafted. Fluid and strong. That’s what they say about me too. Ark St starting SS has had 3 run-ins with the cops since he’s been there. I’m guessing the cupboard is pretty empty since he’s still no the team. And it s strange move, 2 So Miss WRs were covering each other. Where’s the defense? Another nice run by the USM RB, other than fumbles he’s had a nice game….oops, holding. Back to the trivia question: 3 teams making they’re first appearance? I’ll say Akron, South Florida, and, errrr, no idea. Total yards so far 227 to 134 for So Miss and somehow it’s only 3-3. Oh, I bet the other team is Rutgers. Meanwhile So Miss has it 1st and goal. At least the coach has the headset on. The FB rumbles in from 8 out for the game’s first TD. Xtra point is….good. Oh, fullback sorry to call you out, but you know how I know you’re gay? Barbwire bicep tattoo. So Miss 10 Ark St. 3

Great shot of the crowd in Lafayette…I’m not even sure there’s dozens of people.

Trivia Answer:
Akron, Central Florida, South Florida. Well, all right then.

Ark St. from the ASU 20 2:05
ASU is looking to run the clock. And No-chay runs for a first. He’s their whole team. Warren is still in the locker room. And nevermind the run out the clock, ASU chucks one deep and it’s complete. Down to the USM 23. Spielman is discussing “late hands”. I’m watching the game and I don’t know what he’s talking about. It starts to rain at the game…Katrina reference? They pass on it. 21 seconds left in the half and 3rd and 3 from ASU from about the USM 20. I’d take a shot to the end zone, then to the wall, skeet skeet skeet (which means to cum on a chick’s face, I just found this out) motherfucker. PA pass, and No-chay runs with it, down to the So Miss 3. He fumbles, but it was caused by the ground, shutup Jonesey, the ground caused it. Well, first and goal from the 4. 12 seconds left and ASU has one timeout. I’d like to see an option run here. And now USM calls a timesout. Ahhh, headset off. HANDS UP. Great point by Spielman, ASU came out from their own 20 to run the clock out and now they’re at the 4. Weird. 1st and goal, motion, PA bootleg and he’s in. Headset still off. I have no idea how this game is tied. According to Jones, “No-chay is the emotional beacon of the team”. Of course he is. USM 10 ASU 10

Five seconds left…ready for some squibby action? They do and USM fumbles and falls on it.

USM from the USM 22 0:03
Hand to the fullback and halftime. Let’s talk to Steve Roberts the ASU coach: “HEEDLY HEEDLY DEEDLY!!!” One huge hillbilly. Good work espn on talking to him. Break time.
Studio: Standard black anal-cist 1: “So Miss is lucky to be tied, but they should be up by 7”. Makes sense to me.


At 3:46 PM, December 21, 2005, Blogger Jack Fu said...

"They’re going for it. 4th and 1 from the 21. They get it, BUT false start. Nice."

Not to nitpick, but they totally didn't get it. The "QB sneak" play came up short, and I remember the announcers talking about how ASU was lucky that there was a false start (so they could at least try a FG now), b/c the QB totally didn't get the first.

Also: "Heedly heedly deedly" almost, ALMOST made me piss myself. Christ.

Also, it warrants mentioning that the word verification word I'm supposed to type in in order to make this comment is "jjizmm." You can't make shit like that up.


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