Current events and asians
I hate is as much as you do, but I need to mention the NBA playoffs right quick. More specifically, that one team that didn't make them, the cavs. I've heard some NBA analcysts saying that this is the biggest choke job in their history or at least the most disappointing moment in franchise history. Maybe not. Anyone remember Jordan over Ehlo with a fist pump? Yes you remember b\c the video clip will NEVER go away. Yes, it was a major choke job, but let's be fair, it's the cavs. They went 42-40. How many times have they been over .500 recently? Not many. They have a bunch of good young players with Pavolic and Varajao leading the way. If they get rid of one of their point guards, get a shooter and a legit starting PG, this team will win over 50 games next year. Lebron needs help, and he needs to let them help. I think that the NBA-types are mostly pissed b\c Lebron and Kobe aren't in the playoffs. Let's remember, it's more about marketing than anything in the NBA, and that's why I hate myself for discussing it this much. Moving on...
Saturday is the greatest eight hours of continuous coverage of the year, the NFL draft. I'll be watching it. Hopefully in it's entirety. Here's what I'll be looking for and some odds.
Over/Under on length of first round: 5 hours 15 minutes
Yes, it's long. In fact, they've had longer. It may go that long with several teams looking to trade down. I think I might take the under, but not by much.
Merrill Hoge saying "national football league" during any statement: 5-2
While watching espn's no stop pre-draft coverage, he said it 8 times in less than one minute. I'm not exaggerating. That happened.
Mark Schlereth saying "football player" while discussing someone: 2-1
He says it a lot. WHO-HA?
Hank Goldberg discussing the Dolphins and being in Miami: 1-5
That's right, you lose money by if you win.
Mel Kiper Jr. mentions a measurable number while discussing any player: 4-3
He loves his numbers.
Mel Kiper Jr. beating off while discussing Mike Williams: 10-1
You never know
Mel Kiper Jr. ripping his hair out if Mike Williams isn't drafted in the top 15: 100-1
That hair can't move, C'MON!!!!
A fight breaking out between Kiper and Hoge: 7-1
And Kiper wins: 800-1
Mel may have the heart, but his combine showed weakness in the shuttle drill
Over/under where Derrick Johnson is picked: Pick 9
The Nuge going in round 2: 7-2
I think he will, no matter what Evan says
Odds that the browns will fuck up the draft: 1-1
I need some new teams.
In other news, while I was going my usual new gathering, I came across an interesting article. It turns out that Chinese men's dongs aren't much smaller than anyone else. I'm not buying it and think that Yao was included, but I figure that's good news for Jeff. It also turns out that Asian men like to have sex with other men. This study told me so. I mean, it must be rampant if they needed to do a study on it. I also love that it's called the Young Asian Men's Study, that's right...a study on YAMS.
At least Jeff has some friends.
Also, the study is being performed by the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies (CAPS) which gives a whole new meaning to putting a Caps in my ass. I suppose that some Asians are straight. I know, it's tragic. And if you happen to be such a person (which is also a liar), then I suggest checking out here (I can't wait until it's finished) and here (I highly suggest tidbits 3 and 5). And just because I can, and because I love Jeff, here's an Asian hunk to close it out. I love that neckware!!! Teehee!!! I <3 boys!!!
"Call me at (877) GOT-YAMS. I get rucky wit you eigh time in row!!! Dat's eight RUCKY!!"