Tuesday, July 31, 2007

How could I stay mad at you?

There are of course a ton of youtube clips to get you in the mood. On one hand, they're fun to watch, especially with the TBDBITL background music, but the one linked above as well as a few others is aimed at showing us our future. The last regular season felt like an X-Box game where it's easy to win every week, but it's still fun to make happen. I honestly don't think anyone has any idea how this season will go.

I'd like to talk about a bit of etiquette though that we have in Ohio. You don't get married on a football Saturday. I can't imagine being in a worse relationship than with a woman whose family says, "Well we're paying for it, and if for some reason the third Saturday in November seems to run a thousand dollars less!"

Monday, July 30, 2007

almost a new post

Last night I was drunk (it was my birthday) and on myspace. One of the sports pages on there released the 2007 AP poll...I got all excited and posted it on here because it had us listed as #2...then I wrote about what a bunch of crap that is because we have no one left on offense...then I noticed, "Hmm, this looks a lot like last year's poll...well I'll be damned!" Don't worry, I left my smartass remarks at this page and deleted the false entry.

In other news, the Columbus Destroyers failed miserably in the Arena Bowl. That means I'm down to my last 2 "teams" of the year to complete the perfect calendar year of heartbreak...The Yankees are 4 games out of the AL Wildcard and Jeff Gordon is dominating the Nextel Series going into the Chase.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Submitted Article

Check it out friends, we are thankful to have a submitted article by Gregg Hayim about Joey Galloway and our Columbus Destroyers...

Joey Galloway and the Columbus Destroyers are 60 Minutes away from an ArenaBowl Championship

Joey Galloway’s Columbus Destroyers take on the San Jose SaberCats in ArenaBowl XXI on July 29, 3:00PM ET on ABC
By Gregg Hayim

Joey Galloway knows a thing or two about defying the odds. Listed generously at 5’11 197 LB’s, Galloway doesn’t exactly fit the mold of today’s larger NFL receivers. However, lack of physical prowess has never hindered the 13 year veteran’s effectiveness. And his resiliency is making a mark on a new team, not a team he plays for, but a team he owns. That’s right, Galloway is the co-owner of an Arena Football League team, the Columbus Destroyers, who will play in ArenaBowl XXI against the San Jose SaberCats in New Orleans on Sunday, July 29 at 3 pm ET on ABC.

Five times Galloway has registered 1,000-yard receiving seasons and on three occasions he has been named to the Pro-Bowl team as an alternate. The interesting thing about those 1,000-yard seasons is not so much how they were accomplished, but rather when they were accomplished. The first three were achieved during his first four seasons in the league. The last two came during the 2005 and 2006 seasons. A six year gap wedged in between.

Galloway tore the ACL in his left knee during a week one match-up while playing for the Dallas Cowboys in 2000. The injury required season ending surgery. To a player so reliant on speed, it very easily could have been career ending. Fortunately, it was not. Galloway rehabbed the knee and was back on the field for the start of the 2001 season. However, the explosiveness that defined his game during his tenure in Seattle just wasn’t there. Galloway spent three more seasons in Dallas, never eclipsing the 1,000-yard mark and never quite looking like the game-breaking deep threat both Ohio State Buckeye and Seattle Seahawks fans came to know and love.

Acquired from Dallas by Tampa Bay in exchange for the disgruntled Keyshawn Johnson in 2004, Galloway has since resurrected his career. At the age of 36, Galloway has posted consecutive 1,000-yard seasons for the first time since the late 90’s and has once again emerged as a premier big-play threat.

But the field isn’t the only place where Galloway has been active. In 2003, he purchased a minority stake in the Arena Football League’s Columbus Destroyers; a team that on July 29th will take the field in New Orleans to play for the right to call themselves ArenaBowl Champions. If the past month is any indicator, Galloway must have infused a little bit of his own resiliency into his team.

It’s been an up and down season for the Columbus Destroyers. A turbulent ride that seems to have found a patch of clear air at just the right time--playoff time. The Destroyers certainly didn’t do themselves any favors during their midseason five-loss skid. Concluding the regular season with a record of 7-9 was good enough to squeak them into the playoffs, but it also ensured that they would have to go on the road throughout -- a journey that included trips to both Dallas and Georgia, two teams with a collective record of 29-3.

Three straight road victories later, the Destroyers are still playing the role of Cinderella. "It's never easy; we've been just run through three big-time cities and three great football teams,” quarterback Matt Nagy told the Columbus Dispatch. In the past three weeks the Destroyers, as a whole, have demonstrated the type of moxi that seemed to elude them all season long. A conspicuous display of outright self-assurance has put the Arena Football world on notice; the word “fluke” is not to be used to describe their efforts.

On Saturday night, they looked as though they had built sturdy leads on two separate occasions. They went up 21-7 early and then widened the gap to 42-21 later on. In both instances they saw the lead dissipate. In fact, Georgia grabbed a 49-48 advantage and seemed to have seized all momentum. How did the Destroyers respond? By closing out the game by outscoring the Force 18-7. Not a bad retort indeed.

If the Columbus Destroyers do in fact complete this improbably journey by capturing the first ArenaBowl Championship in franchise history, they will look back and credit their new found resiliency as the catalyst. A team- and an owner- who at times were knocked down, but refused to stay there.


Monday, July 16, 2007

No thank you

Nothing to do tonight so I thought, why not try and watch the ESPY's? I like LeBron enough to see how it will go. Sure, why not?

I made it about 11 seconds into the intro before it hit me...Why would I want to relive the last year in sports? Why I don't just watch footage of all my ex-girlfriends screw guys I hate instead? I can't even watch those Gatorade commercials where they talk about the creation of Gatorade back in the 60's. Part of it is because they actually think we believe it's old footage of a "scientist" saying Of course we called it Gator-ADE. Whoa did you hear that everyone? It must be real footage because he put the accent on the wrong syllable. That silly scientist didn't know any better back then. And as I clench my fists, they switch to the more recent footage. (Some day I'll get over all this, I promise)

So instead tonight I defeated level 2 of the greatest video game of all time because that's the most up to date system I own. I love those RPG's too because the translating in them is so awful. They make a game that takes hours to beat, fit it into a small cartridge and then eff up every important sentence.

So back to sports...How about the Columbus Destroyers following suit? I watched there last game and bits of the others. Now Rob, how could you possibly be emotionally invested in Arena League? It's not like you helped bring that team to Columbus or have a ridiculous story claiming you did just because there's nothing else to write about this summer.

Yes my friends...Once upon a time I worked in the corporate world...before I turned into this famous blogger typing away in his studio apartment, knee deep in empty water bottles listening to Tori Amos Aaron Lewis singing Cornflake Girl Nutshell by AIC...I was the Customer Service Associate of a bank. Our Columbus branch was assigned the Destroyer accounts and somehow I was put in charge of opening them. $4,000,000 of deposits later via wire transfer I'm answering questions to the owner.

"Well we just gave your bank four million in deposits and you still charged us a $17 incoming wire transfer fee?"

"I'll refund that right away, sir." And I did. I helped. I also went through their accounts and figured out what those guys made...not much at all. So yeah, Go Destroyers! Plus I went to 2 games in their first season which they lost. We eventually lost their business because National City spent $10,000 on ad space at their games so they switched to them. But I expect to get a ring when they win. I was very helpful in the fall of '03. (They'll lose even though I expect the opening kickoff to be returned in 14 seconds)

Something else almost interesting. My brother said he saw Sideshow Matt at Hound Dog Pizza the other day. He and his friends briefly talked to him. Unfortunately my feelings were not relayed. I imagine Twig is spending his July playing some sort of adult league volleyball, he's a hell of a setter, let's not forget.
There's no way I'll be able to afford as many Buckeye trips this year though I do hope to drive up for a Bears preseason game. Instead I'm blowing investing my money on my comedy career and spending some time in New York.
I also ask you, what think you all of Gee's return? He never tear-gassed us did he?

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Who do I want to win?

We're only moments away and I can't choose between Joey Chesnut or Kobeyashi. Joey has the record but has never won the Nathan's event for the Mustard Belt. Kobeyashi has won every year since he started in 2001. Over 30,000 people are there to see it including our role models www.deadspin.com so it's a huge deal now. The other competitors are so insignificant, though Sonya Thomas they said once ate 1/10 of her body weight in cheesecake...yet she's still THIN!!! Amazing. There's something hot about...nevermind.

Personally I wouldn't eat anything on Coney Island.

In other women's sports that are actually tolerable to watch, Sharipova was getting her ass kicked by Venus before a rain delay. Again, I'm torn on that. Venus is American and it's the 4th of July...but Sharipova.

So who do I root for and put the curse of 2007 on?