In case anyone was wondering...

... whether or not Bill Simmons still has Kevin Durant's balls in his mouth, well, we have our answer. Might be a good idea to look into some kind of restraining order there, K-Dur.

Look for this post to be completely wrong when the season starts

Kevin Durant is going to get his shoulder broken. I heard on ESPN last night that he couldn't bench press 185 lbs. That means in some physical aspect, a man who will be battling Shaq, LeBron, and hundreds of other large beasts is weaker than me. Not by much...but he can't even lift as much as the 167 lb. frame of your truly. If that doesn't improve he's going to struggle seeing as how the best defensive strategy in the NBA is a forearm.

It wouldn't surprise me

If Oden went 2nd, sticking with 2007's theme. I doubt my Yankees will still get 2nd place, but Tribe fans, get ready!

Did anyone see Baseball Tonight's discussion on Sosa's 600 home runs? They all seemed to not care at all about how he got there. Does ESPN tell them how to think? When you have to preface so much praise with, "I don't' care what you say about..." I think they'd rather not be saying it at all.

OK, there isn't much offseason stuff to talk about, the season is coming soon. Maybe I'll do some research and check out how TBDBITL is sounding this year. I hear we have a lot of seniors coming back in the low brass section.

This blog needed some attractive young women to promote my next issue. All you Northern-Ohio friends can come watch my shows at the http://www.funnystop.com/ this week. I'll be there through Saturday the 23rd. You can buy one of my shirts...these kittens did!

Thanks ABC

Normally a network acts like the game is going to be interesting...the intro music tonight had the chorus, "It Ends Tonight..." Now we go to Robert Horry doing his best Joe-Pa, "They're gonna be really tough to beat, blah blah blah." Now to talk about how this year is still a success.

I'm expecting around the 3rd quarter that voice from Mortal Combat to say, "Finish Him!" Tim Duncan's a nice guy though right? He'll do a "Friendship" on us...no actually with LeBron's son being born today it's more likely to be a "Babality." What? No one else still plays Mortal Combat III?

So far this year I've got the quad-fecta of letdowns. The Yankees look like they're going to cut it to 7 1/2 today...could they rally into the playoffs and lose as well? What would the odds of that be. Has anyone else had their 5 favorite teams all get 2nd in one year? Do you think Deadspin would buy my story? (and by buy I mean, give a shit)

Other song cues for ABC "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Let's Start Over." Brilliant.

LeBron said being tired won't be an excuse for tonight. Great, he's braced himself. The entire Spurs team is calm and confident. They may put us away very very early. Tony Parker might dribble out the clock and accidentally throw the ball into the air with 2:19 left in the 2nd. What him Duncan and Parker got into a little pissing contest about who could win MVP.

You know when the Spurs won this Championship? When they beat the Suns. They faced their toughest opponent in the second round and things got easier from there. EASIER! Can you imagine someone saying, after you beat Denver and the Suns all you have to do is beat Utah and Cleveland to win it all. Are you better than those 4 teams? "Well Cleveland beat us in the regular season twice so--"
"Timmy, I hate to tell you this, but the rest of us don't give a shit about the regular season. We, well you, got us the #3 seed and then we decided to play."
Tim, "Oh, that's cool. I love everyone."

I can't imagine being in the crowd there. What a joke it must be like. How many fat broads from Stubenville used their "good" cardboard box to make a sign that says "We beleave!"

Reinventing the word "suck"

There aren't enough adjectives. Here are some teams/players who actually had a better championship showing than the Cleveland Cavs...
1. Matt Terwilliger
2. Rex Grossman
3. The Buckeye Defense
4. That NHL team who wasn't the Ducks

I guess this one doesn't hurt as bad because well, it's the NBA and it's not like we all cared anyway. You guys are lucky though because you're in your mid/late 20's or early 30's and have made enough of your life to be able to afford HBO and watch the last Sporano's episode tonight.
I'm at my sister's house so I don't even have cable. Game 3 will be exciting when we take a 4-2 lead and then proceed to get outscored 102-76.

Let's try and focus on the positive, it's still 2007, I have other teams who I like that are capable of crushing me even further. The Yankees cut their deficit to 9 1/2 behind Boston today. It's still early, they can win the AL somehow and then lose to some "Aw shucks, we won!" team in the World Series (wouldn't you a-holes go nuts for the Brewers!).

High school sports will be a little more interesting in the North Central region this year. My old man came out of retirement at the age of 64 to attempt to notch his 300th career win. Maybe he can get to 299 and they'll start losing, it's still '07.

Yep, all positive here from The Dur's perspective. Hey, can you guys start ordering t-shirts now? I need money.

Comment please to let us know you're alive...

Yeah! We're a real NBA organization! Everything is working...

...except the scoreboard. Ugh, in the national spotlight and Gund Arena malfunctions. Why did it have to pick tonight? 5 or 6 years ago my Dad's varsity team got to play a game there and everything worked fine. Why couldn't that circuit have gone out that day? I'd like to blog the rest of this game but there's just too much floppy hair and needless dribbling.

It's still 2007

Hello my friends, 'tis been awhile. So...uhh how have you been? Stuffed bear and I have moved to a new apartment and can now enjoy all the sports we want on my 13 inch TV. Obviously the top sports story this week is The Spelling Bee the Cavs being within a game of making it to the finals and you know what that means? Another one of my teams will finish 2nd this year. I'm prepared for the disappointment...or am I? Has King James finally figured it all out? Remember that first time you used Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl and figured out that he was better than the other team combined? That's how I felt on Thursday. So I think THIS is the championship that one of my teams wins. I'm pretty sure game 7 of the Finals is scheduled a smidgen before July but hopefully we'll get back to you on it before then. I've never blogged an NBA game but if the Cavs can provide the opportunity, I'll take it.

p.s. (Is anyone still reading this?)