Thursday, March 26, 2009

Still mad

So I talked to my Dad the other day. I don't get the inside scoop on things so you may have already heard this a week ago and it's old news. Anyway, PJ Hill was supposed to foul, and didn't. he got caught up in the shining moment. Mullins has 5 step-siblings from 5 different daddies (Really, Miss Mullins? 5?!) so he's gone. He can go Kufos his way in the NBA. The rumor is that Turner is staying. Sullinger's team made the State semi's but he's still a junior. He won Player of the Year for the 2nd year in a row. He's built like LeBron only taller by an inch I've heard.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I thought Sienna would have more white guys

I'm worried about losing my CBS coverage as Missouri/Illinois thinks they need to watch Wisconsin instead of Ohio State. It's 8-8 and I've been drinking since 2:30 so don't count on this blog being an entire game (really Rob, you're going to bail during a game...again?!). Yes.

Does anyone else think that redheaded girl in the Chevy commercial is annoying as shit? "That's a big girl car!" She's a terrible actress. I know she's 8 and it's a commercial, but she's awful at what she does and I'm sick of her.

See, this liveblog isn't a good idea right now. I'll probably end up having to watch the game on on the good computer in a few minutes.

Wow--Diebler may be the WORST fast break player in division I history. That was honestly the ugliest attempt I've ever seen. And PJ Hill just fired one up from NBA range...where he'll never play.

17-15 Buckeyes, Sienna keeps turning the ball over, some from steals meaning we're better athletically...except Diebler. Good lord was that ugly!

Under 4 and we're up 4...FINALLY a great possession where there were passes all over the place. John Wooden is smiling from his grave...wait-what? He's still alive? Oh, good. Anyway, it's nice to play against a team whose guards may be worse than ours.
With 4 minutes left in the half, I'm convinced that both teams are on the take.

And Diebler goes down...oh no, what will we do. Who will go 3-11 on three's for us? Perhaps now we can do what's called a "fast break."

Ugly continues...we get confused on a half court trap again...hmm, 2 guards and a man in the middle always worked in SEVENTH GRADE!

Again we're just about to the half and this is a tournament game in March. It looks like OSU vs. Athletes in Action in early November. Meanwhile, I new them boyz from Cleveland State would do their thang against Wake Forest! (Can you tell I want to use the slur in a non-racist good way that us white guys only do with our friends, but can't?)


OK guys, dribble around 35 feet from the bucket, and then don't even get an attempt off...perfect!

This game is the equivalent to a Michigan football offensive performance...we're lucky they're sucking too.

Halftime notes: A few (9) years ago Read Wise and I thought we would become the official Cape Dudes of OSU. That black guy in the Cowboy hat and white outfit seems to get on every effing game now. He probably has some advantages like a salary and a savings account, but he's at EVERY GAME. Some day that will be us.

2nd half--Diebler fading away on the 3 and coming up short...gets the loose ball on a fast break, dribbles to the corner and hands it to someone who deserves a Div. I scholarship PJ Hill.

I'm drunk and this game still looks ugly. Beer goggles don't work on basketball.

If PJ Hill bricks a 3 to Buford who makes it, does that count as an assist? We're up 9 and could easily put this game away.

Timeout....remember a few years ago when we had guys who could do stuff? That was awesome.

Timeout again--we're up 11, I'm on my 8th beer, and Mullins has discovered the ball. The most interesting thing should be Cleveland State's outcome. 2 commercials in a row with a piano solo.

Diebler is 0-5 now...useless. Bored...look at this guy's picture!

Hey--remember when Mullins scored EVERY TIME DOWN to put us up 11? Neither do our guards.

And there goes our's down to 4 as Thad plays 2 scrubs...and PJ Hill continues to forget to remember to take charge of the ball. Wake is still down 9.

2 point game now as Sienna fat fans jump around. PJ Hill still hasn't figured out how to get the ball across half court in a half court press. Louisville will/would have destroyed us.

Diebler bricks again, Hill makes it? Whaaa? Then Diebler can't rebound on the other end. He's worthless tonight, Thad, get him out of there!

We're up 4 with 8:30 left why not bomb a three before the rest of the team can get down the court.


Wait, why was Walter Offutt in the game earlier? Check out his stats and see if you think Thad was right to include him tonight at a crucial part of the game.

Make that 5 turnovers for Hill, same for Turner who refuses to get his free throws to the rim.

Holy shit! Diebler made one! PJ Hill loses his cool and pushes someone after the whistle, idiot. ( I hope he googles himself and reads this)

As a college coach, at what point do you take Lauderdale aside and reteach his free throws?

Diebler 1-9. For as bad as this game is, should we win, I can't imagine being the team who lost this ugly ass game. This game will be beaten by its step parents for being so terrible. Also, he cannot rebound. It's up to our free throw shooting with under 2 minutes to go. Oh good, here comes Lauderdale at 46% into the game, good move Thad. OK OK good defense, now take him out for offense. Uner a minute, 4 point lead, we'll need to make 4 of 6 free throws in this final minutes to avoid a buzzer beater in my expert drunken opinion.

Mullins 0-1. 0-2...there it is...3 pointer because we're idiots.

In what I'll call our worst posession of all time, we dribble it out and give Turner a contested 20 footer that has no chance. They make 1-2 (had Mullins done that this game would be over). We have the ball and will no doubt miss and do something stupid...told ya.

Diebler improves to 2-10 and we're down 1, tied, up one.

Buford does his usual..."I can't score with under 10 minutes left in the game." Our guards have been given bonus time to figure this half court press out and still can't do it. Honestly, Turner is going to the NBA?

It's not saying much but Mullins may be my favorite player. He rebounds and saves one to Hill. PJ to shoot with less than 10 seconds. Timeout...So really, if we can't make 2 and stop them from hitting a 3, well, this blog will take another hiatus.

Well fuck me...why not foul?

I don't think I've ever hated a group of players so much.

Monday, March 16, 2009

NCAA gameplan

OK guys, here's what we'll do...

Drive, get ball to Mullins, take early lead. Mullins will get in foul trouble before first TV timeout and have to sit. Buford will make a shot early on to justify him taking a dozen more off balance before the half. From then on Turner will drive and throw up a prayer or kick out to Diebler for a long range three (remember that one he made that one time?). Add a touch of stupid turnovers and a few missed assignments in the zone for wide open dunks and we've got ourselves a gameplan!

Honestly I think we can handle Sienna. I know most brackets will have them upsetting us (as if they watched Seinna play over the season), but after that, yeah, we don't deserve to go against Louisville in the 2nd round. I'm sure they're not happy about it either as we're playing a short drive away from home.

In other tournament picks, I think Memphis got a 1b. seed. That bracket hugs nuts. UCONN will lose early. I expect Memphis to make it back to the final game and possibly win though my first 4 brackets have others. When Jack-Fu gets ours out I'll take Memphis to win it all.

(How great would it have been if Michigan didn't get picked when they had all those people in their gym waiting to cheer?)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Does 1 and done keep Turner in school?

I sure would have preferred even a 7 or 10 seed. We'd play Boston College of USC (how cute) and then play Michigan State in the 2nd round. I know they would never set that matchup like that but damn...It's a shame Cleveland State won't have a chance to go anywhere (or will they?).

Blogging Big Ten Championship for as long as I can stand it

Is it me or are a lot of these Championship games ugly? (as we have 2 turnovers in the first 40 seconds) I'll see how much of this game I can stand before Diebler pisses me off enough to slam my computer shut. (My negative ways are still working!) Diebler for 3!

We're back in our zone defense which may conserve energy a bit. Hill can't match up with anyone but can at least get Turner the ball. Turner is the next Michael Redd (next year).

TV timeout 5-4 Buckeyes.

CBS is using the same "ticking" noise to countdown to the selection as they use for 60 Minutes.

Mullins ruins Christmas by goaltending a shot that was going in anyway. Diebler is now 1-3 and 5 minutes into the game we have 2 baskets and 4 turnovers. God bless the Big Ten.

It would be nice to see someone other than Turner step it up. I'm liking this zone defense against Purdue. They're not going to shoot our lights out and it makes the clock wind down. (Our 5th turnover)

9-8 Purdue, they're still missing shots from inside 15 feet. Hummel can't hit anything. Meanwhile the announcers are ignoring the game and voicing their opinions on who belongs in the tournament. Lauderdale shoots like Barkely swing a golf club...and now Hummel finally makes one. We're down 12-9. Under 12 minute TV timeout.

Hummel's now in crazy corn-fed white boy mode. Turner still isn't awake yet. The curl off the wing is our best offense right now. Turner drives again and is stuffed the rim.

As long as our opponents continue to shoot subpar, we'll keep winning. Will-Boo (I just nicknamed him that) is having a 2002 Boban type performance! (Only his play is legal)

17-16 Purdue going into the under 8 timeout.

I don't think anyone can stop Mullins on Purdue. Pick and roll will work every time. If Turner isn't going to shoot well he can pad his assists...or score. 20-18 us.

Diebler bricks a 3 to kill all momentum as Turner is described as "Long, lean and slippery."

Wow, I've never seen a team miss so many close shots. Maybe once in junior high, but that was against my tough dee.

Running total on Turner's nicknames: "The Eel" and "E.T." When will Will-Boo catch on for Buford?

24-22 Purdue and here's what I've noticed so far. Neither team is shooting all that great. However, both are making open shots. A possession of over 20 seconds leads to a good shot. patient and you'll score (the same thing I tell to my freshmen college buddies-hi-ooo!).

Diebler proves my point again with another 3. 27-24 Buckeyes at the under 4 minute timeout. (Turner is coming around)

Wow, Diebler should never dribble. Just shoot--another 3. Momentum heading into the half is important, in other breakthrough news, I'm not doing my homework.

PJ Hill demostrates why we aren't going to go very far. His Carlos Davis ways just aren't good. We get a timeout with 30 seconds left. Should Thad put Turner back in? Surely he can't pick up number 3, right? RIGHT? Otherwise we'll be dribbling around throwing passes that almost all get picked off...until one gets picked off and lose that important halftime momentum.

Or...Simmons...yes Simmons gets the ball and gets called for the rare 5 seconds WHILE dribbling. Goodbye momentum into the half. It'll be a moral victory if Mullins doesn't pick up another foul.
Good, they miss 3 and we head into the half at 30-25.

Your thoughts on Michigan being a sure thing? Penn State? This many teams from the Big Ten making the tournament? Did anyone else hear him say that yesterday was the first time a Big Ten team had scored 80 in the Big Ten Tourny since 2004?

2nd half

Here's an idea...when they get a rebound, run back on defense instead of picking up a cheap foul, you jackasses.
Hill...just a bit outside.

And all hell breaks loose. Turner picks up 3, Purdue starts making shots, and the ref is gay for Hummel.
I think I've hit my limit.

Augh. We're now down 7...after being down 4 PJ Hill decided, "Hey, I haven't hit shit all season, I think I'll fire up a 20 foot jumper instead of running the offense."

The ball shanked off the side of the rim at an angle only found in a freshman girls game. Straight to the ground, yet crooked from such an absurd angle off the rim. None of the players fundamentals were still present. He probably wouldn't be playing in any other program this big, but our school can't get a player to stay more than a year or two so instead PJ Hill is in charge.

We're not out of it yet, but will need things like baskets and defense to come back. 48-43.

Turner is done passing for this game. We'll be down by double figures here soon and I'll be scouting out websites to fill out an insane amount of brackets on. Moore finally misses.

And with that cheapass jumpball call, I'd say this one isn't going our way. I'm bailing, I'm quitting, surely they cannot comeback from this 7 point deficit! It's over! I may as well turn it off, good night!
I'll post some thoughts on the the brackets and more importantly our slim chances tomorrow.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

This is why I'm negative!

See, they play well. My negative reinforcement does wonders. There's a chance we can escape an 8/9 seed and drop to a 7. If we beat Illinois (by the way, how many Big Ten tourny's have we won over the years? Lots, right?) we should be up to a 5 safely. Our offense seemed a little better today. Sure Michigan State couldn't hit the blah blah of a blah blah but Thad seems to have "dialed up" the right defense at the right time.

I think I'm more worried about the 1st round than the second. We tend to play to the level of our competition. So the key will be getting by the first round.

And finally, Dick Vitale is called out for saying 84 different teams should make the tournament. If nothing else, I think it could use 4 play-in games to get the 16 seeds.

Stand by for NCAA bracket game on Monday or Tuesday.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Winner gets Michigan State

It's only fair that I resume as Diebler hits an important 3 to put us back ahead. We were down 7 and somehow discovered an offense. The half court trap is working as some white guy who appears to have a huge hickey turned it over. Neither team has a true go-to player (don't tell Evan Turner).

This just in Dick Vitale has just been inducted to the Hooters Hall of Fame! He thanks them by saying they belong in the restaurant Hall of Fame. they don't.

Game back on...Mullins fouls out with 1 second left on the shotclock, and the Badger fans copy Duke as he heads to the noble.

Tie game 1:43 and Treg Lee Lauderdale keeps a rebound alive and we keep the ball on the arrow. If Dick Vitale was doing this game he'd go into his thing about how they need to jump it up again...except he avoids doing Big Ten games. I can't say I blame him.

A basket here would do wonders but instead of running a play we'll wait for the shotclock to go under 10, and Turner scores!

Rebound and a phantom timeout is called! Apparently the Wisconsin bench called a timeout without possession. Meanwhile Turner was fouled so hard he'll need to update his facebook status from single to "it's complicated."

Earlier in the game Hill had to have a pen taken from his sock during a free throw. Perhaps that pen helped him make important free throws because he's only 1 of 2 on this one.

32 seconds left, timeout. I'll write this letter...

Dear Thad,
Please take the defense out of the zone, they're giving up too many 3's, especially from the corner. Try man to man.


Coach Rob Durham

Skinny white dude shoots, and fades back to half court instead of getting rebound...Hill to ice the game from the free throw line. Guh. There's 1! 4 point lead. Misses the other.

Not a bad foul, 1 and 1 which he makes...bad foul. We'll need to get the ball in, and make 2 free throws to clinch it.

1 down! 2nd rolls in...ballgame! 14-3 run. Didn't it feel like the football game against them?

Thanks for sucking

ESPN just pointed out that our "big" wins pretty much mena nothing now that the dust has settled. Winning at Miami...Diddely. Winning at Notre Dame, Poo. Beating Butler...apparently anyone in the Verizon League can do that too. Still, I think a win today erases an question marks. Just because those other teams chose to suck doesn't mean they weren't good at one point, right?

I'm teaching 6th grade Social Studies today and have the MSU vs. Minn game on right now. Hopefully this room remains empty for the rest of the 2nd half.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What do you think?

We may go 0-2 in the Big Ten and NCAA tournament. Was Lighty ever supposed to come back this year? I haven't seen a game since mid February but I'm aware that we tried to blow it to Northwestern.

Tell me how many games you think we'll win in the Big Ten tournament (we open against Wisconsin).

How about the NCAA? (We open against a team who's playing much better than us right now)

I just remembered how awesome my NIT entry was last year...go visit that too.