Hey, it's a Post: Post-Christmas Edition!

I'm not going to put up the whole league's scores (having adopted a policy of doing it only on mornings where at least 2 bowl games have been played since the last update on here), but suffice it say, I am happy to announce that DeAngelo Williams and Memphis have helped me ascend to my rightful place atop thebowl.challenge's leaderboard. I currently lead Nipsey Russel by a scant 1 point margin, and Dids by 2. Huzzah for Constitution!

Seeing as how Clemson plays later today, we'll start this HIAP off with EDSBS's giggity about "Tommy Bowden's slut-ass daughter." We at the MWB do not endorse such filth, but we'll happily link to links to it. Yes, two degrees of separation is enough for me. (Bonus post from EDSBS: a preview of the Champs Sports Bowl, featuring both a Bel Biv DeVoe reference and a pretty funny Phil Fulmer/Tommy Bowden story.)

For no valid reason at all: "I'd hit it!".

MWB anti-fave Stewart Mandel is dealing with the dearth of CFB subject matter to talk about by throwing out a thoroughly irrelevant list of CFB's best recruiters. Durrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Dennis Dodd's (aka, "Satan") picture on CSBSportsline makes him look less like a serial rapist than he used to. No, that's not saying a lot.

I think this is the first Rose Bowl preview I've seen that's mentioned Dominique Byrd and (*angry grunt*) Fred Davis as possible keys for a Trojan victory. In case you didn't notice, 2005 USC is the Greatest Team of All-Time and would beat the socks, pants, and suspenders off of any other good team ever period end of story. Just like Oklahoma in 2003. Stupid media. Fuckers.

Courtesy of Buckeye Commentary, we have the Dayton Daily News's list of The Top 10 Plays that Shaped OSU's Season. Several are depressing and/or anger-inducing, and some made me downright giddy to think about. It's certainly been a wild season, kiddies.

And, finally, even though the game remains a week away, here's some Fiesta Bowl holiday cheer (and wonderful Trev Alberts and Mark May bashing), regarding certain events which transpired in late 2002 and early 2003. Huzzah, baby. Huzzah.

Thebowl.challenge: Merry Christmas Edition!

Third request for "Z. Zaret" or anyone who knows Z. Zaret to please pick one set of picks and stick with it. One entry per person, that is all. Also, Merry Christmas.

Rank	Team	Owner	Record	PPR	TOTAL
1	Steven Scrumptious	J. Maynard	5-1	323	80
2	This is My Entry	P. Wholezinga	6-0	329	77
3	Splatterdome Brady Quinn	J. Moyer	5-1	330	74
4	Jew-Drew Brees	T. Hykes	5-1	332	72
4	Durham	R. Durham	5-1	329	72
6	LEEEEEROOOOOYYY!	E. Fairchild	4-2	306	65
7	Santa's Little Helper	Maw and Paw Moyer	6-0	345	61
8	Charlie Weiss is Fat	J. Wise	6-0	355	51
9	Shiny	K. Sandberg	3-3	331	30
10	Nyholm	M. Nyholm	4-2	367	29
11	Big Jim Slade's Winners	A. Schill	4-2	361	24
12	Tedd E Inge 4 Heisman	S. Mizer	5-1	379	21
13	Unoriginal Bastard	R. Davis	5-1	385	20
14	Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung	Z. Zaret	0-6	385	0

Thebowl.challenge: Four games down!

Second request for "Z. Zaret" or anyone who knows Z. Zaret to please pick one set of picks and stick with it. One entry per person, that is all.

Rank	Team	Owner	Record	PPR	TOTAL
1	This is My Entry	P. Wholezingah	4-0	340	66
2	Steven Scrumptious	J. Maynard	3-1	346	57
3	Splatterdome Brady Quinn	J. Moyer	3-1	351	53
3	Santa's Little Helper	Maw and Paw Moyer	4-0	353	53
5	Jew-Drew Brees	T. Hykes	3-1	353	51
6	Durham	R. Durham	3-1	366	35
7	LEEEEEROOOOOYYY!	E. Fairchild	2-2	339	32
8	Shiny	K. Sandberg	2-2	353	29
9	Nyholm	M. Nyholm	3-1	378	24
9	Big Jim Slade's Winners	A. Schill	4-0	382	24
11	Tedd E Inge 4 Heisman	S. Mizer	4-0	390	16
12	Charlie Weiss is Fat	J. Wise	4-0	392	14
13	Unoriginal Bastard	R. Davis	3-1	396	9
14	Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung	Z. Zaret	0-4	396	0

Poinsettia Bowl First Quarter

Pregame

Being the thorough, research-centric information source that we are, I have conducted some in-depth examinations of both of these teams, for the convenience and entertainment of you, dear reader. Here is what I have gleaned from various internet-based sources:

Navy = Run ball lot
CSU = Bradlee Van Ramhelmet

I guess I can get a little more specific than that in saying that Navy employs a sophisticated triple-option attack, which is churning out a nation's-best 305 ypg. They are led by first-year QB Lamar Owens, who I can only assume is making good decisions in this complex offense, despite any contentions to the contrary from Todd. The "big bruising fullback" is a staple of this offense – Navy's uber-FB of the last few years was Kyle Eckel. Maybe you remember him. He certainly played a large role in Navy's 26-play, 14-minute game-clinching drive in last year's Emerald NUTS Bowl against Los Lobos. Good times. Anyway, this year's edition is a guy named Adam Ballard, and I will definitely be saying his name a lot tonight, though probably not while looking up at the ceiling (OMG gay LOL). The presence of such a devout run-first team is helping me deal with the fact that I volunteered to SOC a 10:30 p.m. game.

With regard to CSU, the only game of theirs that I watched any part of this year was the 56-24 pasting that Minnesota laid on them during (*grunt-le*) Texas weekend. This team was really freaking weird this year, as they blew out a Nevada team that ended up beating Fresno; defeated Utah and preseason darling Wyoming; and got their asses absolutely handed to them on a platter by both TCU and San Diego State (!). They finished the season an unsurprising (since we’re dealing with a pre-Christmas bowl here) 6-5. They are "led" by "QB" Justin Holland, who is apparently one of those mid-major types who's horribly erratic, but has a strong enough arm and a reasonable amount of mobility such that anyone who covers the team refers to him with some variation of the phrase "under the radar NFL prospect." AND I SHALL JUDGE HIM. They also have a 1,000-yd rusher in Kyle Bell and a receiver named David Anderson who CFN thinks is pretty okay I guess. There is apparently no information available on the web about either defense. Poor guys.

First Quarter

San Diego! Chicks! Waves! Two bowl games! My announcers are Gary Bender (?) and Bill Curry. Notes from The Deuce before the game: somewhat surprisingly, the aforementioned David Anderson is a honkey; this is the first time ever that the Naval Academy has made three straight (Ha! Straight? It's the Navy!) bowl games; and Lamar Owens is Navy's all-time leader in yards per play, whatever that means. CSU’s pregame locker room chant is a sing-songy number in which they’re loudly asking … Jesus … to "take it to 'em," and I … wow. Sexy, kinda. FYI, Little Dave Ryan is our sideline guy. CSU's gonna receive… Wait a minute, Navy's kicker is from "St. Simons Island, GA." Where the hell are there islands in Georgia?

CSU ball, own 23, 14:56
Bender on Justin Holland: "How he goes, so goes this team." Gee, a QB? You think so? Navy comes out in a 3-4 defense with … MANTAMAN principles. Hey, Kyle Bell is a honkey too. SMQB's analysis may not have been too far off. Three plays (2 WR screens and a standard off-tackle run) and CSU is at the Navy 40. Big 3rd and 2 for Navy … play-action to the TE for a first down. Navy isn't getting anywhere near Holland so far. Holland overthrew a receiver at the goal line by 10 yards … good thing, 'cause the WR was double-covered. Curry thinks he overthrew it on purpose; okay, chief… 'Nother 3rd, at the 23 … same play as the last 3rd down, and he catches it on his hip and takes it down to the 2. Come on, Middies. TD, Kyle Bell. Hmm, the big white guy I thought was a TE was a receiver, and he had all four catches on that drive, for 54 yards. 7-0, CSU. Pop-up kick, and Navy makes 'em pay, returning it almost to midfield.

Navy ball, own 45, 11:00
HOLY SHIT! First play is a flex bone, triple option pass, and the receiver (same guy who returned the kick) was 10 yards behind the defense. Caught easily, 55-yd TD. 7-7, 4:07 into the game. Eat your heart out, Sun Bowl.

CSU ball, own 23, 10:47
Replay: wow, the FS bit on the option fake like it was fed to him by a naked Jessica Alba. CSU has a garish orange "A" on the back of their helmets for reasons which are not being explained. CSU is getting 8 yds on every 1st down play. And Bell takes a toss sweep down to the Navy 35. Then Anderson catches a play-action (PA, henceforth) pass down to the 20. Holland looks really good so far. And the next play, Navy brings the house and doesn't get to Holland; boy that's a bad sign, even though the pass was broken up. 3rd and 6. Curry's worried about Bell getting gassed already. Huh – we aren’t even halfway thru the first yet. Screen to the TE (the actual one), and he dives for the first, BUT he fumbles, BUT they recover it, BUT now they're short of the 1st down. 4th-and-1, first yooge play of the game… Bell fumbles the pitch, BUT there was a false start. FG attempt is good. 10-7, CSU. This game has been crazygonuts so far. Wait a minute, now the big white guy who made all the catches that first drive really IS a TE? Huh-WHA? Plays thus far: 17 for CSU, 1 for Navy.

Navy ball, own 35, 7:20
San Diego County Credit Union CEO Rod Calvao gets one line with Dave Ryan before we're back to live action. It amounts to "Scoring good." Option to the wide side, gorgeous pitch for the first down. I'm so excited already – Owens pulled a Phil and pitched it at the LAST possible second, and wow, that looked like a forward pass. And they're reviewing it to look at that. Hmm, Bender is impressed with Owens's ballhandling skills. Put your pants back on, Todd. Who am I kidding, you can keep them off. Taking … forever … okay … ref rules "forward pass," and the crowd lustily boos. Huh. Exact same play, and they get the first down again, PLUS an OOB late hit. We have the first of what is sure to be many belly dives by Ballard. Option short side, and the pitch is bad and fumbled. That ballhandling looks mighty suspect so far, Gary. 3rd-and-4 keeper is stuffed. 4th-and-2. Triple option… wow, CSU’s DL blew everything up, Owens got hit and fumbled at the exchange point b/t Owens and Ballard. Guh.

CSU ball, own 38, 5:50
WR screen to Anderson for 23. Come on. Backup RB runs for 2. Bell, you pussy, get back in there. 3rd-and-8 at the 35. Anderson makes a great catch, but is OOB. 4th-and-8, and CSU is thinking about it and calls time. "Christmas on ABC: Shaq! Kobe! Phil! Pat! By the way, the two best teams in the league are playing, too." God, I hate the NBA. This game has had so much shit going on already, I've barely been able to keep up. Holland drops back, there's a little pressure, and he scrambles but has no chance. The functional equivalent of a coverage sack. T.O.P.: 11:28 for CSU, 1:52 for Navy.

Navy ball, own 32, 1:45
Toss sweep for 8. Curry is talking about all the … options … in the triple option … all three of them. Owens had a guy wide open and overthrew him. Option keeper to the short side and Owens reeeeeaches out and fumbles it. He looks like a poor decisionmaker so far. Shut up, Todd. They're reviewing to see if he was down before it came out, and it looks like he was. This first quarter is gonna take more than an hour. Bender has referenced Owens's "leadership" five times so far. If he means "mind-boggling miscues," then I can totally see it. Aaaaand he was down, and got to the sticks. First down. Option keeper for 5. Curry says the CSU D is overplaying everything and the PA should be open, and then boy is it, as they complete a pass down to the 29-yd line. CSU seems to be electing to give up some pass plays, in order to keep Navy from running like crazy and eating up cock. Um … I mean "clock." Hurray for Navy gay jokes hurray. The first quarter took an hour exactly. 10-7, CSU.

Poinsettia Bowl Second Quarter Rocket Rocket

Triple option reverse for a 22-yard TD on the first play of the quarter. Great execution by Owens. Textbook. What a leader. And CSU blocks the PAT, for shits and giggles. 13-10, Navy. Kick is returned to the 39, and we have a late flag. Late hit by CSU, d'oh.

CSU ball, own 25, 14:46
Toss sweep to Bell for 2. Both of these teams seem like they're each running 5 plays over and over. Well, Navy's only run like 8 plays, so that's not possible. Shut up. PA rollout to the TE for a first down. Holland continues to look sharp. Navy finally got pressure, but it was a screen. Durrr. Bell: 9 rushes, 70 yards. 3rd-and-5 WR screen to Anderson, and he gets it. Navy got the smallest amount of pressure possible, and Holland had totally hetero happy feet and overthrew an open guy. 3rd-and-3, Navy brings a blitz, and everyone's covered, so Holland throws it away. Punt goes into the endzone.

Navy ball, own 20, 11:26
PA and everyone's covered, so Owens scrambles for 8. Triple option for 5. We get a replay along with the graphic "Navy Triple Option: Ride and Decide." Guys, the gay jokes are no fun if you make them for me. Pass play for 8; they're throwing like crazy. Toss sweep for 8. We're driving, kids. Quick pitch for 7, down to the CSU 41. Triple option, and Owens hit the L2 button for the fake pitch and mindfucked CSU's whole team. CSU has all of a sudden decided to stuff 2 straight option plays, and it's 3rd-and-7 from the 31. No problem: quick pitch to the short side for 9. Positively Phil-esque in the stubbornness with the running game, but hey, it's working. "Ride and Decide" graphic #2, and yes, it's a different one. Owens got drilled, but executed the option perfectly and the pitchback Reggie Campbell took it in for the TD. The thing that I and NCAA 2005 call an "option reverse," Curry calls a "trap option." Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. You get the feeling that CSU needed to take full advantage of their early breaks and didn't, so now they're totally fucked. 20-10, Navy.

CSU ball, own 23, 7:13
WOO HOO, AFLAC TRIVIA QUESTION: Who was the MVP of the inaugural Holiday Bowl in 1978? Um, this is the "Poinsettia Bowl" – the Holiday Bowl isn't for another week. Christ. Well, it's difficult as all get-out for me to not pull out my hand dandy ESPN COLLEGE FOOTBALL ENCYCLOPEDIA, but I'll hazard a guess: uhhhhh, nope, I have no freaking clue. Billy Sims? Curry: "This is a big drive for Colorado State." And you wonder why people hate announcers and find them superfluous. Dance with the bitch done brung ya: they stick with Bell for 4. WR screen to Anderson barely gets the first. AFLAC answer: Phil McConkey, Navy WR. Wow, there's a gay joke right there, I just can't get the bat off my shoulder. Bell for 9. '78 Holiday Bowl highlights now. Gosh, there's so much tradition in THIS bowl, how come there are no clips of it? [/sarcasm] Navy finally blows up the WR screen. If that has to be taken off the table, I don't know what CSU will do. 3rd-and-13. Slipscreen to Bell, and Navy eats it up. They are really playing well so far. Navy LB Tyler Tidwell has nine tackles already.

Navy ball, own 10, 3:40
Back from commercial, we apparently missed a play, as it's now 2nd-and-4. Belly dive to Ballard for 7. Toss sweep to Campbell for 13. Belly dive on the triple option, and Ballard is a shoestring tackle from taking it to the house. Down to the CSU 42. Ballard up the middle again. This is a kind of triple option hurry-up offense. Neat. "Trap option" keeper to the 29. Curry's right: these are not "authoritative" tackles by CSU now; they are just barely tripping up the Navy runners. QB draw for 9, and now a Navy player fakes an injury in order to get the clock to stop. Okay, no, he actually looks hurt; that was just in my mind because I remember my travel soccer team doing it once, except in reverse (we were winning and wanted the time to run down, so a kid faked an injury. His mom was so freaked). Pitch to wingback Marco Nelson down to the 8 and CSU takes a timeout with 1:18 left. This is a BACKBREAKING drive if they punch it in. "Trap option" keeper, and Owens gets down to the 1 and reaches for the goal line, but he fumbles again, but he was down. Stop. Doing. That. 2nd-and-goal, and the Navy line gets blown up and Owens is tackled for a loss. Weird. TO, Navy, :31 left. What do you do here if you're Navy? 2-yd line, 3rd down, 1 TO left. Pitch to Campbell and he has noone anywhere near him and he dances in. I sure thought they would try to have Owens do something, and that's why Paul Johnson is a helluva coach, and I'm some schmoe on a couch. 27-10, Navy.

CSU ball, own 27, :24
Slipscreen boring blah. Get to halftime blah. Blah blah sack blah. TIMEOUT?!? Tidwell got the sack; he is everywhere. Pass down to Navy's 43 with 4 seconds left. Catch was by Johnny Walker. Can't tell if red, blue, or black. ZING! That's an alcoholic joke. Semi-bomb is caught at the 10, and he gets tackled right away. Bender and I have a fundamental philosophical difference: he thinks it's great that CSU used up every last second, while I want to murder Sonny Lubick with my hands because of it.

Halftime Score: 27-10, Navy.

Poinsettia Bowl Third Quarter

Actual halftime quote by Fowler, regarding Lubick saying he was worried about Navy's speed on offense: "Now, when you face a service academy, and you're really worried about a speed deficit, I don't want to say that you've got some thick ankles on that defense, but you've got some thick ankles on that defense." Jesus Fowler, don't let the terrorists hear you say that, or we're all gonna be in trouble.

Navy had 217 rushing yards, at 9 yards per carry, and they scored 27 points in less than 11:00 in time of possession. Unless things get interesting, this is gonna be a lot shorter and less in-depth, 'cause it's already 12:45.

Navy ball, own 36
Big 3rd-and-2 for CSU, this defense really needs some confidence. Pitch to Campbell gets it easily. Hey, the Pittsnogles blew out Oklahoma. Badass. 3rd-and-6, here comes the option… nope, Ballard up the middle on the triple option, and he gets 5. They're going for it on 4th-and-1 at the CSU 46. Cold-motherfucking-blooded. Ballard gets it, plus about 5 more. Option pass for 20. This defense is fucking pathetic. Quick pitch to Campbell, and he cuts it upfield, never gets touched, and scores a 21-yd TD. They are absolutely burninating CSU on the ground, and they've got the Rams so fucked right now because of the playcalling: they're terrified of Ballard up the middle, and they still haven't come close to stopping the pitch and option pitch. So they're totally stuck. 34-10, Navy.

CSU ball, own 19, 11:15
Two Bell rushes net 20 yards. Two more net 4 yards. 3rd-and-6 … pass to Anderson gets it barely. CSU has moved the ball like crazy – how the hell do they only have 10 points? Pass for 19 yds … zzzzzzzzzzzzz. More Kyle Bell … hey, it's eating up time. Ooh, a reverse! Down to the 7. Draw to Bell loses 3. PA TD pass by Holland. That was yooge for the Rams, so that they're maybe sort of still in the game here. Try getting a stop before you celebrate too much there, sideline. Yes, you've been personified now. 34-17, Navy. Holland is 20-27 for 228 yds, 1 TD, 0 INT. Also, he's one of those guys who shaves his head to cover up the fact that he is clearly balding. That's all Michael Jordan's doing, that.

Navy ball, own 28, 7:20
RIDE AND DECIDE! I think that was the slogan at the Gothic Asshole. Welcome to the Adam Ballard show. Navy throws an incomplete pass that stops the clock. Also, I'm contemplating murdering a small animal. 3rd down option pitch doesn't get the first. Is this getting interesting? Holy shit, they're going for it on 4th-and-2 at their own 45 … unless they don't. They take a TO, and they're punting. Back from commercial and now they're totally going for it. The CSU DL is in the backfield before Owens can even turn, and holy crap things just got a lot more interesting.

CSU ball, Navy's 45, 4:56
First play is a 25-yard gain on a post route to Anderson. Hachi machi. Two straight Bell runs net -1 yards. Big play here. Touchdown, CSU. Navy actually got some pressure, but Holland chucked it up in the air, and CSU's 6'4" white receiver went up over Navy's black midget DB. I think he was in "Me, Myself, and Irene." Oh, no one saw that movie? My bad. 34-24, Navy.

Navy ball, own 30, 3:05
First play is a gorgeous reverse for a 23-yd gain across midfield. FB option pitch to Ballard for 9. Guess what's coming … Ballard up the middle gets the first down easily. Curry says CSU is really attacking the running game now, and he expects a PA pass any minute now. Wow…FIRST PLAY after he says that, they run the option pass and noone is within 10 yards of Campbell. 34-yard TD. Five TDs and 300+ yds of total offense for Campbell. Curry says that it's a tough dilemma having to deal with a good option team that also has an accurate QB. Well, that leaves out Eric Crouch. Nice answer by the Middies. 41-24, Navy

CSU ball, own 21, 1:36I'm tired and it's 1:27 a.m. and CSU is out to their own 28 and that's the third. 41-24, Navy.

Poinsettia Bowl 4th Quarter and I Want to Die

First play and Tidwell sacks Holland. "Tidwell sacks Holland" sounds like a pretentious (my favorite kind!) emo band or something. Or a caption in a history textbook. Either way, that sack went a long way toward ending this game. Shitty, shitty punt proves that when it rains, et cetera.

Navy ball, CSU 45, 14:10
My cable is all fucked up and choppy for reasons which are escaping me. It goes on like this … and … okay, Navy has the ball at the 26, 2nd-and 6. Option keeper by Owens for 4. Two straight Ballard runs, if necessary? Nope, option pass, and it gets tipped by a DB at the last possible second. 4th-and-2 … option pitch to Nelson, and one broken tackle later it's a 22-yd score. Thank you and goodnight. Curry: "This is the trap option again and it has been the best play all night, because apparently it just takes the free safety completely out of the action." Ouch, buddy. Ouch. And a CSU player is down, needing CSU's equivalent of the Cave to come over and tend to his wounded pride. 48-24, Navy.

CSU ball, own 26, 11:44
Deep ball going for all the wombles … and CAUGHT for a 51-yd gain. Then touchdown. Two plays, 74 yards. Johnny Walker Red got behind everyone on a faked reverse where Holland kept the ball the whole time. And CSU calls a timeout, because they want to go for two to get within 16, naively thinking they have a shot in hell at stopping Navy. *Sigh* They come out in a tight I … this time they try to run an end-around pass with Anderson, but the DE stays at home and blows it up. 48-30, Navy.

Navy ball, own 30, 11:13
Ballard was just compared to a battering ram by Gary, and I'm okay with that. Wow, after a 9-yd run on the first play, Ballard busted up the middle, brokeback mountained one tackle, then bowled over a DB, lost a shoe, and rumbled for 32 yards. Carry is so excited that you can almost hear him masturbating. Plus, he just said "rippin' and snortin'" for about the seventh time tonight, whatever that means. "He's leavin' shoes, he's leavin' shoulderpads … he's leavin' some sternums in his wake!" I love you Bill Curry. Of course, it's 1:52 a.m. and my mind is pretty much Jello at this point. CSU has 11 missed tackles so far tonight. Pitch to Nelson, run up the middle, Ballard dive … yes, eating clock … and then an inexplicable option pass!?! Incomplete, but they call pass interference. Goddammit, I want Navy to keep the ball and keep running. When CSU gets it back, they'll, you know, pass and shit. 1st-and-goal at the 5. Stuffed. Stuffed. Incomplete pass. What the fuck is going on. Chip shot FG is good. 51-30, Navy.

CSU ball, own 22, 6:45
First play is a catch by Anderson out to midfield. Holland has completed his last 13 passes. And Tidwell gets another sack. Yooge game by him. Timeout CSU. Mother fucker. Navy's mascot is a sheep for no discernible reason. 1,057 yards of offense so far. Screen pass to a little black scatback with dreadlocks, whom I can only assume is named Squeaky Johnson. 3rd-and-10 and Navy brings the kitchen sink, and Holland commits the most blatant intentional grounding I have ever seen. He just turned and threw the ball straight at the sideline, almost like a lateral. And they're punting. Thank God. Let's get the hell out of here.

Navy ball, own 35, 5:25
Owens is out, and … he's running into the locker room. Whatever. New Honkey QB keeps the option for about 35 yards, and goes out of bounds. Ugh. Bench-clearing time. Little bit of chippiness from CSU on NHQB. DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Tired tired tired tired tired. Ballard ballard ballard ballard ballard ballard ballard ballard OWENS, OWENS, ballard ballard ballard …. Curry makes a semi-interesting point: you normally think about Navy using the option attack to make up for athletic deficiencies, but this Navy squad is really fast at the skill positions but undersized on the lines. Pick by NHQB at the goal line.

CSU ball, own 31, 2:41
Blah blah blah. Throwing. Moving the ball. Navy calls timeout and I want to shoot someone. Turn it over on 4th down Navy QB Kneels my head a'splode.

Final score: Navy 51, CSU 30

VEGAS BABY, VEGAS : Hippies vs. Mormons

Okay, let me start out by stating that there is no way in hell my SOC is going to be nearly as long as Todd’s 4 part epic post about the Southern Miss/Arkansas State game. That post was long…and strong…and from what I could tell, down to get the friction on. And I think it bears repeating that Todd wrote a 4 part epic post about the Southern Miss/Arkansas State game. Take a couple seconds to digest that. If it wasn’t for my horse…

I should also point out that at 8:30 pm (about 30 minutes after kickoff) on the Deuce, #8 Oklahoma is taking on the now unranked Fighting Pittsnogles of West Virginia in some spicy hot college basketball action. I don’t think anyone involved with the MWB is going to have any problem with me occasionally checking in on Pittsnogle, the Gansey Man, and company and providing some commentary while I’m at it.

Okay, so here we are at the (Pioneer PureVision - is that 2 sponsors or one? I don‘t know and I don‘t care) Las Vegas Bowl. Where the winners get $50 worth of chips and a complimentary lap dance. The losers on the other hand will be muttering all the way home that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. They also get tickets to the Rita Rudner show. By the way I picked Cal in the pick ‘em dealy w/ a 26 confidence. (As many of you know, the Bears are inexplicably one of my favorite CFB teams.) As for a score, mmmm… let’s say 37-27 Cal. We’ll see.

Sean McDonough and Mike Gottfried are calling the game. I’m just glad it’s not Ron Fucking Franklin. Actually, since we’re in Vegas, I’m kinda surprised (and thoroughly disappointed) that Lon McEachern and Norm Chad aren’t calling the action. We’re totally missing the following exchange:
Lon: And this Cal drive has now lasted over 8 minutes.
Norm: I’ve had marriages that didn’t last that long.
Lon: (awkward laugh)

ESPN obviously made an unwise choice going with McDonough / Gottfried. Actually, in all seriousness, I love McDonough, so I’m pretty excited. Sorry to see the freakish Alex Flanagan roaming the sidelines though.

I was about to make a big joke about how funny it was sending a throng of Mormons to Vegas. The mismatched morals - comedy gold. Sounds like a fantastic reality show concept. But then McDonough just said that there are 130,000 Mormons in the greater Las Vegas area and that there are about 30,000 Mormons at Sam Boyd Stadium (Sam Boyd - sure why not?), which holds about 40,000 fans, regardless of their religion.
Then I realized that Vegas is perfect for Mormons. I mean, where else can a single Mormon dude go for one weekend and marry all 8 of his wives. (From what I hear there’s a lot of chapels in the Vegas.)

Okay - the names on Cal’s offense were TOTALLY generated by NCAA on EA Sports: Marshawn Lynch, Marvin Phillip, Ryan O'Callaghan, Steve Levy, Tony Manderino, Craig Stevens, Andrew Cameron, DeSean Jackson - Am I wrong here?

McDonough just described an unnecessary roughness violation on BYU as “really dumb”. I was amused, but I think you kinda had to hear how he said it.

With the help of that penalty and the fact that the opening kick went out of bounds, Cal scored pretty damn easily on the opening drive. All kinds of Marshawn Lynch, and its 7-0 Bears 3:04 into the game.

After a quick stop, Cal just roughed the punter, negating a 56 yd return. Fun. The sidelines @ Sam Boyd Stadium look like candy canes. That’s awfully festive.

OU-WVU’s just about to tip off from the OKC. Nessler & Francine Frischilla calling this one.
Did you know BYU’s coach is named Bronco Mendenhall?! That’s not a real name. EA couldn’t come up with something that good (well except for Austin Manley).

Eeep. WVU’s got no inside presence, and they’re down 11-2 already.

Cal QB Steve Levy is kind of on the Craig Krenzel plan, starting the season as a 3rd stringer, then making his first 2 starts against the big rival and then in a bowl game.

I just realized I have mayonnaise all over my leg.

First downs: Cal 8 BYU 1 - I like where this is headed.

So BYU’s got this like 500 lb. fat guy that they call “Lunchroom.” Bears a striking resemblance to that Southern Miss punter. Just kidding. He looks a more like Erin. (You had to know that one was coming…like Cave the night he slept with Erin.)

They just showed BYU QB John Beck’s sister, who is what McDonough calls a “Cougarette” (BYU cheerleader I guess?). Normal looking gal, but some hideous uniforms. Polar opposite of Southern Cal.

Meanwhile, BYU just BARELY got a 4th and 1 conversion @ about the Cal 40 yard line. Could be a Yooooge play in this first half.

HEY!!! Lavell Edwards is in the stands. Morticians are standing by.

So there’s an ESPN New Year’s Eve show. Look, I love sports more than 99.999% of the population, and even I think this is a bad idea.

The Fighting Pittsnogles have apparently settled down and the games tied 17-17 w/ 10 minutes gone. And they just compared Pittsnogle to Tim Duncan. Seriously. I am so wet right now.

Back to the Pioneer Poor Vision Las Vegas Bowl. It’s the start of the 2nd quarter and BYU’s put together a heck of a drive, and is in the proverbial red zone, knocking on the proverbial door, proverbially speaking.

Coming back from commercial they just showed BYU TB Curtis Brown saying welcome to the Las Vegas Bowl as he stands next to an Elvis impersonator (or WAS IT?) and a couple showgirls. Careful Curtis. You might be ineligible for the Rose Bowl now.

First play after that awkwardness… and a TD to CURTIS BROWN!!!! Amazing! Don’t worry Cal fans. That promo he just did will negate that. Maybe not. We’re tied 7-7 a minute into the 2nd quarter.

BYU hasn’t won a bowl game since 1996. Losers.

Hair Bear puts the ‘Neers up by 27-23. Now 30-23. That score is MWB-approved.

Back in Vegas, a 15 yard face mask and huge pass int. call puts Cal in position to score. I guess Cal’s plan is to just capitalize on all of BYU’s mistakes tonight.

HOT HOT HOT TD run by Marshawn Lynch. Bounced into and out of a pair of tacklers, and cut it back to the middle for a 23 yd score.

OH DEAR GOD!
Please tell me someone else saw Lynch on the bench after that score. Here’s what he screamed at the top of his lungs:
“Shiny 7 days a week! Shiny 7 days a week! Shiny 7 days a week! HEY! HEY! Come over here Boy! Come over here Boy! (points to the Bears’ other TB, Justin Forsett) This is the boy right here.” Or something like that. I don’t speak that language.

Anyone else think it’s weird having a black guy with the last name ‘Lynch’? Todd? That’s like having a Jewish guy with the last name ‘In A Furnace’.

Cal’s 7 wins came against teams that were a combined 28-60. Yeah. Do the math. Gotta love the PAC-10.

And an INT for the Au Bears! (That’s a chemistry joke.) Great success!

Later on, more footage of the BYU squad w/ that Elvis impersonator, who looks nothing like Elvis but is a dead ringer for John Davidson. Probably is John Davidson actually.

And we have a review! Incomplete or a fumble? Not sure, but drunk Mike Gottfried just changed his mind and says it’s complete.
McDonough: “They’re using the Big Ten model.” Her name’s apparently Jack Vaughn. That’s gotta be a stage name.

Meanwhile halftime in OKC. WVU up 41-34. Didn’t watch much of the 1st half, but with a score like that, the Mountaineers may be getting priority soon.

BYU’s AD is named Tom Homo. And Sean McDonough made a point to emphasize his name 3 times in a 10 second span. Not kidding. And apparently he was Cal’s football coach before Tedford. How did I not know this?

Still in a review, 20 minutes later. Finally, its ruled incomplete. Gottfried was able to talk himself into the wrong call. Nice work.

Almost halftime ---- 7 carries - 60 yds - 2 TD for Marshawn Lynch. That’s pretty efficient.

AFLAC trivia question:
Before Tedford, who was the last Call coach to lead the Bears to 3 straight bowl appearances?
I’ll say it’s either Joe Kapp or that Homo guy. Probably should go with Kapp.
Answer: Pappy Waldorf 1949-51 Rose Bowls. I was soooooo close. Except I wasn’t.

As a Cal fan, I gotta tell you… that Steve Levy is really making me miss Aaron Rodgers. No comparison at all.

4:07 left in the 2nd quarter and McDonough FINALLY mentions that QB Steve Levy is of no relation to ESPN’s “talented” Steve Levy. I thought they would have said this on the very first drive, if not before.

BYU gets the ball back and IMMEDIATELY gets their 9th penalty, a holding call. Next play BYU’s John Beck totally just intentionally grounded a pass from his own end zone. No call. Urge to kill rising.

BYU is able to move the ball now, and if they ever decide to stop shooting themselves in the foot, Cal’s in trouble. And as soon as I write that, a 54 yd bomb for BYU - now down to the Cal 11. Cal’s DB just decided not to cover that guy. Thanks. I didn’t want to win the Bowl pick ‘em anyway. Next play: HOLDING on BYU!!! Delicious.

Huge 3rd & 2 on Cal’s 3 -- 42 seconds left in the half --- Cal calls timeout. (WVU 53 - OU 40)
TOUCHDOWN MORMONS!!! Actually it was some Samoan, who was BYU’s leading rusher in 1999. Yep, 1999. Oh wait, he’s from Tonga.

WOW!!!! CAL TOUCHDOWN with 4 seconds left!!!!! BYU’s secondary decided to stop playing 29:55 into the first half. It’s a 42 yard TD pass to DeSean Jackson! Wow. That has to be demoralizing to the Mormons. Alex Flanagan interviews BYU coach - ya know, with a name like Bronco Mendenhall, that guy’s pretty damn dull.

11 first half penalties for the Cougs. These penalties go to 11.

Okay, it’s halftime at the Pie And Ear Perv Vision Los Alamos Bowl. Now… should I watch Mark May and company in the studio or Kevin Pittsnogle on the deuce. Mark May. Pittsnogle. Mark May. Pittsnogle. I think I’m gonna have to go Pittsnogle. OU has cut it to 5 with 11 minutes left.

HA! Gansey makes a 3! 64-56

Hare Bare makes it a double digit lead again just before the under 8.

OU outrebounding WVA 24-15. Those are actually fantastic #s for the Mountaineers. If they’re that close in rebounding, they should be winning, which they are, so I guess I just proved my own point.

YES!!! Pittsnogle just nails an ill-advised 3 to make it 78-65 w/ 4:40 left. I liked that that happened.

Whoa - they did a closeup of Pittsnogle in a timeout and his hair’s starting to gray. I mean, just when I thought this guy couldn’t get any more likeable.

Huh. Nessler just said Herber’s on the German national team. So I guess it’s Her Behr. Or something like that.

Kickoff in the Lost Vegans Bowl. BYU gets it. Let’s see how they respond.

Huh. Curtis Brown went to a Catholic high school, but converted when he came to BYU and was “impressed” with the Mormons he met, according to Sean McD. Now I’m really rooting against him. Fucking traitor.

WV’s up 20 (that’s right 20!!!) with 1:44 left against OU in Oklahoma City. That’s just fucking awesome. The MWB salutes you! (92-68 final score)

Alex Flanagan looks like Frederique Venderwal’s awkward younger sister.

So… am I the only one who’s got the Seahawks over the Colts this weekend?

DeSean Jackson is spicy.

I wonder how the odds in Vegas were affected by the whole Dungy thing. How many points in the spread is a murder like that worth. 5 points? 5 and a half?

Lynch scores again on a 35 yd trot. He just dragged a couple Mormons the last 8 yds. 28-14 Bears! Huzzah!

But there’s still 10:47 left in the 3rd. This game’s not ending until 1 am. Thanks pass-happy offenses. Some of us still have to work tomorrow morning, you know.

Lynch now has 13 carries for 119 yds and 3 TDs. Not too shabby.

SOC it to me!!!!

Just flipped to the CSU-Navy game that‘s about to happen. Please Jackson, say something about the Rams’ pregame locker room chant. That was wild. Anyway, flexbone be damned, go Rams!

Wow, BYU simply cannot tackle. And Gottfried just said DeSean Jackson might be the best WR he’s seen all season. That’s quite a statement, but on the very next play he catches a 30 yarder in the back corner to put Cal up another score. Oh wait. It’s under review. That’s not a catch. Still, DSJ is making the Mormons look retarded. Wait - they call it a touchdown! The refs must hate Mormons. And who can blame them?! 35-14 !!! I’ll be winning the ESPN pick ‘em in no time.

Okay, this Cal-BYU game is starting to drag a little (and the Bears are totally in control now). Let’s take a short break from the sports-related. Have you ever clicked on that NEXT BLOG rectangle at the top of the screen? On the off chance that any of our 2 or 3 loyal readers haven’t, let me explain what happens. Blogspot jumps you to the most random blog imaginable. About 40% of the time, it’s in another language. About 100% of the time, it’s retarded. I just clicked on it a few seconds ago and here’s what popped up (ha ha - popped up):

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Me and Hoolio 4
Enjoying a day at the zoo, April is surprised to find Hoolio doing the same.watch it.
posted by Ray Holleb at 7:02 PM 0 comments
Me and Hoolio 3
April and friend, Steven Scrumptious, invite Hoolio to a glorious day at the beach.watch it.
posted by Ray Holleb at 6:50 PM 0 comments
Me and Hoolio 2
Hoolio stops by unexpectedly to borrow the ingredients to bake his own birthday cake.watch it.
posted by Ray Holleb at 5:52 PM 0 comments
Me and Hoolio
Episode one of "Me and Hoolio" introduces April's strange neighbor as they take a walk together.watch it.
posted by Ray Holleb at 3:47 PM 0 comments


Sadly, I couldn’t get any of the movie links to work. Though I think the mystery of it all makes it even funnier. Oh, and I think it goes without saying that my ESPN pick set’s new name is ‘Steven Scrumptious’. Plus it’s a shame Steven’s friends Dave Delicious and Maury Mouthwatering weren’t able to make it to the beach that day.

Okay, the 3rd quarter is mercifully over. 35-14 Cal. Everybody stick 4 fingers in the air.

Headset on. Headset off. Oh wait. Wrong game.

Holy crap. Did you hear that Tony Dungy’s son died. You’d think I would have heard about this.

Well, BYU just cut it to 35-21, making this a game again, barely.

Cal’s star center’s brother is a bodyguard for the Backstreet Boys. Gottfried voices his approval of the band in a very awkward manner.

Cal just trying to run off some clock now. They’re at midfield w/ 11:30 left. A few more 1st downs would really hurt BYU. And BYU forces a punt as soon as I write that.

Okay Fast Forward a few minutes - 7:41 left and BYU converts a 4th & 10 at midfield. This is still a game. Cal’s defense is struggling. At the rate we’re going we could have a real fun finish.

We just had the following exchange -
Gottfried: God bless this great country of America.
McDonough: Amen
See, I’m not the only one with nothing pertinent left to say in the 4th quarter. I mean this game started well over 3 hours ago.

And BYU scores on a ridiculous 9 yd pass on 4th and Goal. Cal just doesn’t want to win this game anymore. They wanted to win awhile ago, but they’ve apparently thought better of it.

Actual ad: “Vegas - Where no one knows what play you’re gonna run.” What? I mean…what? Four NCAA pools?? What?

Time for Cal to run the ball and the clock - huge 3rd & 3 w/ 4 minutes left at the Cal 42.
HA!!! Play action pass to the TE and it’s a huge gain!!! Oh - called back on a hold, but the Bears still got the first.
There’s 3:41 left and a new set of downs. --- WHY THE HELL ARE YOU RUNNING OUT OF BOUNDS?!?!!!
Another 1st down - BYU uses its first timeout. The Mormons are in some trouble now. 2nd timeout. 3:22 left. BYU uses its last timeout after 3rd down---- 4th and 6 for Cal at the BYU 33. 2:27 left. I think you gotta punt here. Gottfried says go for the 1st down. Tedford says kick the 50 yarder, but probably a direct snap to the kicker for a pooch punt.
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!!!!!!! They actually tried the kick. It was perfectly straight but about 8 yards short. That kicker’s career long was 49 yards. Tedford, I’m coming to hurt you.

CAL INTERCEPTION!!! - BYU QB John Beck got his arm hit as he threw and launched one straight up into the air.

Cal wins 35-28! I gotta pat myself on the back (and then the butt). My prediction (37-27) was awfully damn close. We even got it done in less than 4 hours. Kudos.

Capital One Player of the Game: Marshawn Lynch - and they cut to him screaming “Come over here Boy!” from after one of his first half TDs. The producers obviously were amused by this as well.

Well that’s it. McDonough and Gottfried are off to see the Thunder From Down Under. I’m off to get a shower.

Okay, unlike Todd, I don’t have any good way to end this, so I’m just gonna take this time to congratulate the Fu and the FUture Mrs. Fu on their impending nuptials. Oh and Merry Christmas to all 4 or 5 of you that might actually be reading this.

Holy Shit! Tony Dungy’s son died!

JJIZMM !!!

Thebowl.challenge: Two Games Down!

Two games into thebowl.challenge, apparently we have a person in the group who wasn't in the group yesterday. Someone who calls him/herself "Z. Zaret" has entered the fray, and has done so with two entries. As Evan and I discussed, one entry per person is the limit. For the purposes of this post, I'm counting Mr./Mrs. Zaret's worst entry as his/her only entry. So, without further Freddy, here's where we all stand after 2 games:

Rank	Team	Owner	Record	PPR	TOTAL
1	This is My Entry	P. Wholezingah	2-0	365	41
2	HONK!	J. Maynard	2-0	375	31
3	Jew-Drew Brees	T. Hykes	1-1	378	26
4	Shiny	K. Sandberg	1-1	379	25
5	Santa's Little Helper	Maw and Paw Moyer	2-0	388	18
6	Splatterdome Brady Quinn	J. Moyer	1-1	390	14
7	Tedd E Inge 4 Heisman	S. Mizer	2-0	395	11
8	Durham	R. Durham	1-1	391	10
9	Charlie Weiss is Fat	J. Wise	2-0	401	5
10	Nyholm	M. Nyholm	2-0	403	3
10	Big Jim Slade's Winners	A. Schill	2-0	403	3
12	Unoriginal Bastard	R. Davis	1-1	403	2
13	Buuuuuuuuuuuuung	Z. Zaret	0-2	403	0
13	LEEEEEROOOOOYYY!	E. Fairchild	0-2	371	0

On tap for tonight, we have the Las Vegas Bowl between Cal and BYU at 8:00 p.m., with an SOC from Nips coming online either sometime late tonight or early tomorrow, and the Poinsettia Bowl between Colorado State and Navy at 10:30 p.m., with an SOC from yours truly undoubtedly coming sometime tomorrow. Enjoy.

Nawlins Bowl 1st Quarter

Ahhh, the first SOC of the season. I'm not gonna lie...it's long. Almost 4,000 words. Written while I have a terrible cold and mostly uncomprehensible. Hopefully I can bore you to sleep. Things to watch for...headset references, the KRN (katrina ref number) count, omegas, and fat punters. Enjoy!!

Pregame

Ark St. vs So Miss live from chilly Lafayette, LA on the Cajun Field. Mark Jones and Spielman bring the noise and the funk. Exactly 72 seconds in, and we’ve got a Katrina reference, which beats my over/under of 7 sec. Both teams are a boring 6-5 and according to Spielman “WHAM! So Miss. could be 9-2.” Jones says of Ark. St. “Hundreds of people lined the streets of Jonesboro Ark” to give Ark St. a sendoff, probably hoping they’re off on a mission to find a good football team.

Jeff Bower is proud of his So Miss team, and default sideline reporter asks 2 questions about the hurricane. I’m officially keeping a running count of Katrina of which we’re now at 4. Also, despite the NCAA ban on Indian Mascots, Ark St’s graphic says they are the Ark St Indians. Racists.

It’s Ark St’s first bowl game and first conf title since 86 for the Indians. That’s 1986!!

1st Quarter

So Miss from the USM 32 14:55
So Miss with the ball first and they’re led by QB Dusty Almond, yes the same one. I’m pretty sure he took over for Brett Favre. First play, PA-pass for 37. Second play, run for 8. It bares mentioning So Miss is a 17 point favorite and Ark St hates white people. Just gaping holes for So Miss early, Ark St. better sack up. Ark St. looks confused and excited on this first drive by So Miss. Lots of running around quickly, but not to the ball, seems like a bad strategy. USM is running all over them and Dusty Almond drops the snap on first and goal from the 1 and Ark St recovers, timeout, commercial and the boys are back in town with wranglers on.

Ark St. from the ASU 2 11:42
From my research on this game, ASU has a good RB in Antonio Warren and USM has 2 really good LBs. WOW! A DE just rapes the ASU QB by the facemask in the end zone (in YOUR end zone) and instead of a safety (dance) it’s a 15 yard penalty. This Warren guy does run hard, and the LB Coley hits hard back. I didn’t know the ‘Nawlins Bowl could go on without North Texas, I actually didn’t know the Sunbelt had other teams. Meanwhile Ark St. makes a nice pass play and everyone makes butterfly hand motions. I wonder if they all do that after big plays, I’ll keep an eye on it. If I hear Mark Jones say “pop and shoot” again, I might puke. WOW! An incredible crafty/sneaky move by Ark St. QB 8 to get a first on third and 3. So Miss’s coach never has the headset on his ears, probably so he can yell at his team to tackle better. In fact, they just took a time out so he could continue to yell, I like it. Neither team seems concerned with tackling, but Ark St has a nice drive going down to the USM 35 starting from their own 2. Gawd damn, USM has the ugliest cheerleaders this side of New Orleans rooftops. 4th and 11 from the 38 and ASU goes for it…..NO….pooch punt which is somehow blocked for a 5 yard punt, I need a replay, it still makes no sense. Commercial.

USM from the USM 33 6:41
Dusty leads the troops back out and the lack of D continues. And USM fumbles again on the second play recovered by….Ark St. Still no headset on the ears by USM coach.

Ark St. from the ASU 45 6:13
Katrina reference number 5 and this time with pictures. ASU QB #6’s name is Nuce which is pronounced No-chay. Why not. An incredible catch by a ASU wide out as No-chay throws into double coverage, on purpose. Hey, the Cubs just signed Jacque Jones, also apparently, on purpose. USM refuses to tackle anyone. If I start to get USM biased, it’s because they’re my 26 pt confidence game. No wonder I think black LB Coley is everywhere, there’s two of them and they’re twins. Let’s be honest, they all look the same anyway. Spielman says “read the mail” four times in a row. 41 yard FG attempt….eeee….wide right. Rob Stone brings the sideline report and Katrina reference number 6. (KRN 6)

So Miss from the USM 24 2:30
Back to Rob Stone, with a “full circle” reference and KRN 7. I’m not sure why, but the phrase, “no scoring by the Indian offence” makes me laugh. Coach got his headset on and chief got his teepee back. They really keep hyping the Toledo/UTEP game. Ahhh, KRN 8, Jonesey tried to sneak it by me, by putting in mid-sentence, but I’m all over it and USM brings in the punter’s gut and somewhere behind it is the punter. Man, that guy is fat. Punt return, and Spielman just says “he Bobby Boo-shayed him”. Then throws in a “nice, NICE!!” just for fun.

Ark St. from the ASU 40 1:12
Snap! ASU star player Warren is banged up as the first quarter ends. USM 0 Ark St 0

Nawlins Bowl 2nd Quarter

2nd Quarter

If he [Warren] can’t come back that would be yooge for the Indians. Commercial. So there’s a movie coming out about the West Texas Spooks team (with 5 spooks) that beats the Kentucky Third Reich (with 0 spooks). Can’t say I’m surprised. I wonder who gets to play racist Rupp? I hope it’s Jon Voight. I think he’s a racist anyway. Back to the game, ASU gets sacked, time to punt. Blah blah. Starwipe and commercial

USM from the USM 20 14:08
Still no points in this game and it’s been mildly entertaining. USM really brings the wood when they hit (emphasis on when) and kinda fun. So Miss just does whatever they want on offense, which includes giving it back to Ark St. Update on RB Warren, right ankle sprain that’s been lingering all season. Return is questionable. Oh crap, Dusty Almond Joy makes a terrible throw on third down and they’ll have to punt. At least they didn’t turn it over. Punter gut is out…HAHAHA…ASU lines up offsides on 4th and 3. The nawlins bowl is “using the big 10 replay model” according to Mark Jones. I hope she’s good looking. And ANOTHER fumble!! Recovered by So Miss and they keep possession. Oh dear, Warren is limping off to the locker room. Meanwhile, there’s a first down for So Miss. And ZIP, Almond chucks a nice throw. Dusty has a really strong arm. Also, he takes a late hit, but it’s not called nor mentioned by the announcers. A methodical drive here by USM down to the Ark St. 20. Oh dear, Almond throws a pick but it’s dropped. Ark St. blitzes on third and Dusty throws it away. 31 yard FG attempt….eeee….wobbly (whambles?)…and it’s good.
Sooooo Miss 3 Ark St (not pine-bluff) 0

Where’s the friggin trivia question?!?! Anyway…kickoff

Holy crap…a yooge return for a TD in which he made 360 move and ran backwards 5 yards, got the edge and was gone. Doh, penalty [holding] on the other side of the field.

Ark St. from the ASU 20 9:40
Well, first play goes for a 50-yard pass right over the top, why not. 3rd and 1, and the ASU RB is flipped over and is inches short. They’re going for it. 4th and 1 from the 21. They get it, BUT false start. Nice. 4th and 6 now and a 45 FG attempt straight on….hooks it in. The Indians tie it up.
Sooooo Miss 3 ASU 3

Sweet, Trivia Question: Ark St is making it’s first bowl along with 3 other teams. Name those teams. Ok, will do

USM from the USM 29 6:28
And a great pass by Dusty on 1st down. Almond is gonna get drafted. Fluid and strong. That’s what they say about me too. Ark St starting SS has had 3 run-ins with the cops since he’s been there. I’m guessing the cupboard is pretty empty since he’s still no the team. And it s strange move, 2 So Miss WRs were covering each other. Where’s the defense? Another nice run by the USM RB, other than fumbles he’s had a nice game….oops, holding. Back to the trivia question: 3 teams making they’re first appearance? I’ll say Akron, South Florida, and, errrr, no idea. Total yards so far 227 to 134 for So Miss and somehow it’s only 3-3. Oh, I bet the other team is Rutgers. Meanwhile So Miss has it 1st and goal. At least the coach has the headset on. The FB rumbles in from 8 out for the game’s first TD. Xtra point is….good. Oh, fullback sorry to call you out, but you know how I know you’re gay? Barbwire bicep tattoo. So Miss 10 Ark St. 3

Great shot of the crowd in Lafayette…I’m not even sure there’s dozens of people.

Trivia Answer:
Akron, Central Florida, South Florida. Well, all right then.


Ark St. from the ASU 20 2:05
ASU is looking to run the clock. And No-chay runs for a first. He’s their whole team. Warren is still in the locker room. And nevermind the run out the clock, ASU chucks one deep and it’s complete. Down to the USM 23. Spielman is discussing “late hands”. I’m watching the game and I don’t know what he’s talking about. It starts to rain at the game…Katrina reference? They pass on it. 21 seconds left in the half and 3rd and 3 from ASU from about the USM 20. I’d take a shot to the end zone, then to the wall, skeet skeet skeet (which means to cum on a chick’s face, I just found this out) motherfucker. PA pass, and No-chay runs with it, down to the So Miss 3. He fumbles, but it was caused by the ground, shutup Jonesey, the ground caused it. Well, first and goal from the 4. 12 seconds left and ASU has one timeout. I’d like to see an option run here. And now USM calls a timesout. Ahhh, headset off. HANDS UP. Great point by Spielman, ASU came out from their own 20 to run the clock out and now they’re at the 4. Weird. 1st and goal, motion, PA bootleg and he’s in. Headset still off. I have no idea how this game is tied. According to Jones, “No-chay is the emotional beacon of the team”. Of course he is. USM 10 ASU 10

Five seconds left…ready for some squibby action? They do and USM fumbles and falls on it.

USM from the USM 22 0:03
Hand to the fullback and halftime. Let’s talk to Steve Roberts the ASU coach: “HEEDLY HEEDLY DEEDLY!!!” One huge hillbilly. Good work espn on talking to him. Break time.
Studio: Standard black anal-cist 1: “So Miss is lucky to be tied, but they should be up by 7”. Makes sense to me.

Nawlins Bowl 3rd Quarter

3rd Quarter (10-10)
Well, I just got off the phone with J-Fu, a big MWB congrats on the engagement to him and K. Meanwhile, Rob Stone is talking to USM head coach with still no headset on. Coach says they aren’t tackling and can’t contain the QB which is totally accurate. Fatty kicker gut boots one OB.

ASU from the ASU 35 15:00
Someone [besides me] should really note how fat USM’s punter/kicker/gut really is. It’s like the Beamer stuck on the goiter, the gut is really in control. Update on Star RB ASU Warren, he’s gonna try and go, but hasn’t left the locker-room yet. Incomplete 1 and 2, 3rd and 10. They finally tackle someone on a sack. Solid 3 and out for So Miss. Punt, caught, and falls down.

USM from the USM 26 14:15
This game could really use some offense. I’m getting pretty bored with these boneheads. So Miss tries to run a screen, but the Ark St. DE is so slow, he can’t get out of the way and blows it up by being terrible. 3rd and 10. Terrible throw by Almond. He’s got a great arm, but loses accuracy for no apparent reason. Fatty (grunt) punt. Minimal return. Man, there’s been a lot of commercials in this game. I guess it is 10:11pm and we’re barely into the third. Way overdue for a Katrina Ref.

Ark St from the Ark St 20 13:03
Wow!! A terrible fumble by No-chay on the shotgun snap, then misses it trying to pick it up, and uber-Coley gobbles it up for So Miss.

USM from the Ark St 12 12:26
Two runs and USM pounds the vag, possibly deep in the corner to score. Headset off. Hands up. Xtra point good. USM 17 Ark St. 10

We get another look at Fatty-K gut. He gets all of his body behind it and puts in through the end zone.

ASU from the ASU 20 11:44
Still no sight of Warren, but he does blend into the shadows pretty well. A nice catch by a ASU WR for 25. There’s been several good catches in this game. Holy crap. No-Chay gives a pump-fake and the CB bites harder than Erin leaving the guy wide open. Down to the USM 13. Yikes. Kevis Coley has 150 tackles on the season. A bonehead pass interference on 3rd down, giving it to ASU on the 2. Wow, so Warren is back in the game, then No-chay jukes the ENTIRE team on a fake QB draw and hits the tight end. Why wouldn’t he? PAT. USM 17 Ark St. 17

“Don’t eat junky, eat chunky.” Mama McNabb has had that commercial on 9 times so far in this game. I’m not kidding. I’ve counted. That’s more MM than Katrina. She has a slight lead at 9-7.

Squibby kickoff….slowly goes OB.

USM from own 35 8:51
Oh MY GOD. Myron Anderson, ASU DL, has not 1, BUT 2 omegas on his bicep. If I had known that, it would have factored into my confidence points. Meanwhile, USM’s O-line is controlling this game, which is then noted by Spielman as well. Not sure thinking like Spielman makes me feel all that good. And Paterno was named AP coach of the year. Happy 79th b-day joepa. Stupid TE, STAY IN BOUNDS!! This game is taking forever. Another promo for UTEP/Toledo. I wish I’d have kept track of those as well. Wow, Almond jukes the camera-man by making a Belasari-esque, hide it behind your back, play fake then hits the TE for a TD. Hands up. USM 24 Ark St. 17

More fatty kicker airtime. Let’s be honest though. That gut makes it’s own airtime. And shanked OB. That’s 4 OB kickoffs in this game. Bizarre.

Ark St. from own 35 6:08
How sweet, the Ark St team visited a local hospital while in Lafayette. I bet that helps with community service hours. No-chay gets sacked as an ASU player teabags an orderly. 3rd down…screen. Almost pick 6. That would have been yooge. Punt time. Line drive, no return.

USM own 26 4:30
No commercial this time. I think they might be out. Headset on. There we go. KRN 8. That was WAY overdue. Myron Anderson off-sides. Once you get those omegas moving, they don’t slow down. Headset off. So Miss RB decides to run directly into the D-lineman. Bad choice. Headset off. They just keep showing the USM coach. Haha, headset on. Ark St. hillbilly won’t be happy about his lack of pub. A bizarre 3 and, headset off, out. Wow, snapped way over the (headset off) gut and through the end zone for a safety. Mmmmkay. USM 24 Ark St. 19

Nice return on the free kick.

Ark St from USM 49 2:14
No-chay is just killing So Miss on broken plays. Another pump fake, but this time USM is ready for it. Nice adjustment by the corners. Ark St. runs a shotgun option with the RB starting directly behind the QB. Kinda weird. Well according to Mark Jones, “No-chay has graduated from the school of hard knocks”. However, he gives no reason for saying it. Really nice hold for So Miss on the short field. Punt. Fair catch. Sideline report. YES!! KRN 9!! Nice work Rob, you’ve tied KRN up with MM at 9 all.

USM from own 13 0:52Headset off. Jonesey, quick on the trigger with two Katrina refs in a row giving KRN an 11-9 lead. 3rd down, caught short of the first, fumbled forward, recovered by USM for a first down. Bizarre. And with that the third quarter ends. USM 24 Ark St. 19

Nawlins Bowl 4th Quarter (yes, it goes on like this)

4th quarter.
It really feels like So Miss should be up by 2 TDs, but ASU is right in it. One big play in the 4th is gonna decide the game. Back from commercial, no MM, BUT right into Katrina stock footage. KRN 12. Double omega action makes a nice play for a 7 yard loss. Spielman makes note of the omegas, nice work. Yooge play for Almond and So Miss as he hit someone on the fly pattern down to the ASU 35. Headset on. Almond then shows off a little speed for a 10 yard gain. I’m telling you, he’s getting drafted. Ark St.’s band is entirely white. I find that odd, but have no reason for it. 3rd and 9 on the ASU 23, huge play. Almond pipes one to a WR that had fallen down. Headset on. THEN USM gets hit with a personal foul knocking them out of FG range. Wow. A really weak call. But, we get more fatty punter action. He boots it through the end zone on the fly. The gut has doesn’t use touch, it’s all power.

Ark St own 20 11:52
That’s two commercial sets in a row with no Mama McNabb. She’s gonna have to hurry up trailing 12-9 in the fourth to a tough KRN squad. Fumble by Ark St. on the first play….and….wow. Recovered by USM

USM on Ark St 23 11:41
But, it’s being reviewed. I’m pretty sure it’s gonna stand. Don’t forget, it’s the big 10 replay model. And wow, it’s not a she, it’s a he, and he’s not that cute. The play stands as called. 1st down USM. WOW!!!! San Antonio Warren also has dueling bicep omega action!!! I can see they’ve gained a new fan, which would be me. ASU has made a nice adjustment to stop the run. Holy crap, back story of interest: An ASU d-tackle was leaning on a dorm elevator door and it opened. The guy dropped 3 floors and hit face first on the elevator. Broke his entire body. Follow that up with a really late pass interference call in the end zone on 3rd and 9. 1st and goal a the 2. Cody Hull (USM RB) has set a NO Bowl record with 132 rushing yards. Good job? Nice, headset off then on in the same cut-a-way. False start on 2nd and goal from the one. Not important, they score from the 6. The TE gets cracked in the kidney for his effort. Headset on. Hands up. Pat. 31-19 Eagles.

Ark St. from own 29 8:15
I hope you, loyal reader, are still going strong. I’m already to 3,200 words. Good Lord. I’m not sure if they’ve rationed graphics in this game, but they refuse to show stats. Another broken play for ASU and No-chay gains 23 on a run. He’s gotta have close to 100 rushing yards himself. Follows that up with a broken play run of 8. Headset off. Somehow No-chay only has 60 rushing yards. I don’t believe it. Weird, ASU’s helmet stickers are “I Will”. That’s so lame. Oh dear, No-chay got crushed in the back of the head. He laid motionless for a few seconds, but gets up. ASU has to punt and it goes OB for no return.

USM from own 17 6:04
The Golden Eagles are looking to…wait KRN 13….run some clock here. Oooo, stats: but no total yards, I’m so over it. Wow, Almond rips a 20 yard pass on 3rd and 10. That’s killer for ASU. Really needed a stop there. So Miss led at halftime in 10 of 11 games this season. Nice work boneheads. Cody Hall continues to add to his NO Bowl rushing yard record as he gets another first. Johnny Damon signs as a Yankee, yuck. So Miss might run the clock out on this drive. Right on queue, hillbilly Roberts calls a timeout. Headset off. Headset on. Headset off. And not to be outdone…Headset on. That’s right, in one coach cut-away, Bower put his headset on and off twice. Headset on. Holy crap. They have footage of “the gut” proposing at mid-field to his girlfriend. I can’t believe it, that’s hilarious. During his proposal, he says why he loves her. Aflac Question #2: Why does the gut love his now fiancé? Meanwhile USM gets stopped on 4th

Ark St from won 27 1:02
No timeouts for No-chay as he’s back in the game. Awww, illegal touching against the Indians. Now they’re reviewing something. Ump checks his watch. Maybe dinner plans? The refs don’t say what they were doing. Start the clock, and picked off. Uhhh, sure, that makes sense.

USM from own 38 0:38
Anyway, Player of the game: Bower’s headset. Just kidding, it goes to Cody Hull 37 rushes, 161 yards, 1 TD. That’s right, 37 rushes. Nice work Jones getting in one more Katrina, that’s KRN 14. Take a knee, game over.

Final Score: So Miss 31 Ark St. 19
Katrina References: 14
Mama McNabb commercials: 9
KRN closes out the game on a 7-0 run, nice work Katrina, you managed to drown another fat black woman.

Finally, the answer to the Aflac Question 2. Why does the guy love his fiancé? If you guessed, “b\c you love Jesus”, you’re the big winner. Good night from Lafayette. The West version.

Thebowl.challenge: One Game Down!

So kiddies, one game is in the books in thebowl.challenge, an event for which I am proud to say we received 13 entrants, despite Al's bitch-ass ... well ... bitch-assing out. Anyway, let's take a look at the leader board, through the games of December 20 (and introducing ... THE NEW ADVENTURES OF JACK FU IN HTML!!):

Rank	Team	Owner	Record	PPR	TOTAL
1	HONK!	J. Maynard	1-0	379	27
1	This is My Entry	P. Wholezingah	1-0	379	27
3	Jew-Drew Brees	T. Hykes	1-0	380	26
4	Shiny	K. Sandberg	1-0	381	25
5	Splatterdome Brady Quinn	J. Moyer	1-0	392	14
6	Durham	R. Durham	1-0	396	10
7	Santa's Little Helper	Maw and Paw Moyer	1-0	402	4
8	Charlie Weiss is Fat	J. Wise	1-0	404	2
9	Nyholm	M. Nyholm	1-0	405	1
9	Big Jim Slade's Winners	A. Schill	1-0	405	1
9	Tedd E Inge 4 Heisman	S. Mizer	1-0	405	1
12	Unoriginal Bastard	R. Davis	0-1	405	0
13	LEEEEEROOOOOYYY!	E. Fairchild	0-1	380	0

Effing Bowl Season: About to be underway!

So, kiddies, seeing as how this is a blog, and the one thing that blogs do more than anything else is link to other blogs and miscellaneous substantive information that the blogger in question is too lazy to provide himself, I present unto you a virtual quasi-wealth of crap to read and think about regarding the Bowls, CFB in general, and anything else that caught my fancy.

Editor's note: Provided that Todd hasn't dropped off the face of the planet (although I have to say that I'm excited for whatever Phil-esque "surprise" he's gonna throw at us at some point this bowl season ... something like "Oh by the way, I'm only gonna be here for 26 hours - I have to drive to Odessa, TX for no valid reason" or "Sorry, I forgot to tell you: I can't watch the Fiesta Bowl because I'm taking Scooter to go get his sex-change operation that day." I think we're all looking forward to it), he will be providing us with some SOC Notes for tonight's gawd-awful New Orleans (Except not really in New Orleans) Bowl. Woo hoo.

I'll start over at CFN, since we're totally swiping the idea and format of the SOCs from them. Anyways, they and all their college football media buddy-types have entered their own Bowl Pick 'Em, and it uses confidence points, just like ours. The pertinent information to glean from that link is the fact that someone named Todd Wright, who is apparently affiliated with ESPNRadio in some capacity, not only picked Notre Dame to win, BUT MADE IT HIS 28-POINT CONFIDENCE GAME. That either shows a frightening and bizarre lack of respect for OSU, or a thorouoghly-expected display of media adoration for an ND team who hasn't beaten anyone. You decide (Although it warrants mentioning that Fiu - who already picked a 38-20 score for the Fiesta, in favor of OSU - picked the Bucks and put 28 confidence points behind it (Bonus parenthetical-within-parenthetical: here is some info on this "Todd Wright" character, courtesy of the highly-unreliable wikipedia. Do with that info what you will)).

Also speaking of CFN, appropriately-titled CFB blog (with a heavy, HEAVY Florida slant) Every Day Should be Saturday takes issue with one of CFN's official picks: Rutgers over Arizona State. It is now official: use a picture of Carl from ATHF and I WILL link to it if I see it.

Bonus material from EDSBS: their first annual "WTF Awards." Definitely worth a read, although it should definitely be preceded by some variation of the sentence WARNING: EXTREMELY DISGUSTING AND TERROR-INFLICTING PICTURE OF TYRONE PROTHRO'S LEG ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, BREAKING. Watch out for it, and make sure you don't look. It's about 18 different kinds of gross.

Sunday Morning QB is starting what I assume will be a running feature throughout bowl season, as he will apparently rate every bowl game's watchability beforehand. And he not only looks at the game, but at what it's competition will be on other channels. Tonight, the N'Awlins Bowl - which is up against "Gilmore Girls," a Barbara Walters special, and the Lifetime Original Movie, "Miracle on the 17th Green" - rates an unsurprising 1 out of 5.

Someone named John Walters is apparently a CFB writer for CNN/SI, and he has contributed his thoughts and picks for each bowl game. It's nice to know that they have someone other than Stewart Mandel there if you ever want to read about college football. Worth a read, if only to find out that on top of scoring tons of points on offense, Northwestern and UCk-LA rank 111th and 117th, respectively, in total defense. Should be shamelessly wild.

Notre Dame-centric blog Blue-Gray Sky has chipped in an admirably in-depth and pretty accurate assessment of the 2005 Buckeyes, as well as some "keys to the game"-type stuff on the Fiesta Bowl. Worth a read for the enemy's perspective.

Finally, I have to make you all aware of this fantastic prank that went on at Michigan while people were studying for exams. It's basically a variation on the old "run into the library screaming during finals" thing, except much funnier and much much MUCH more clever. I found the link to it over at the hilarious, informative, and prodigious Michigan blog MGoBlog. Worth a read every single day.

Bring the SOC, Toddger.

Hey, it's a post: ND Edition

So I just got done filling up two huge bluebooks about God-knows-what regarding the prevailing laws governing domestic, as well as international, arbitration. Yeah, I'm not really sure, either. I am currently trying to work on a take-home exam about Civil & Political Rights, but it's just not coming. [/Ah-nuld] Oh well. Yes, I know you don't care.

But the point of this post is that as soon as I got done with the exam, I had an actual face-to-face conversation with one of theblog.net's five loyal readers regarding the bowl game. Yes, that bowl game. This was notable for two reasons:

1.) Said loyal reader told me (and I'm paraphrasing here): "I wish that Jim Tressel could spend, just, like an hour each day completely surrounded by Notre Dame fans, so he can find out what they're like. That way, when we're beating them in the Fiesta Bowl, he won't do the Tressel thing and keep the score respectable -- he'll do the Spurrier thing and RUN THE SCORE UP ON THOSE ARROGANT ASSHOLES." I think we all feel that way.

2.) Said loyal reader provided me with this little flowchart describing how one becomes a Notre Dame fan, and the duties that must be adhered to in order to remain one of the ND faithful. I think it's pretty goddamn hilarious.

UPDATES WILL HOPEFULLY CONTINUE, HOPEFULLY SOME BY PEOPLE OTHER THAN ME, UP THROUGH, OR AT LEAST UNTIL, THE BOWLS.

The most wonderful time, indeed.

COLLEGE BOWL PICK 'EM

It's that time of year again. Bowl pick 'em. At espn.com.

The group name is "SBC Yahoo DSL Pick 'Em". And yes, we're brought to you by Sprint, Home Depot, and Outback Steakhouse, amongst other fine, fine sponsors.

All are welcome to join, but you must have the sacred password. Yeah, it's "boban".

See you bitches on the other side.

Redickulous

Now, I'm no Duke fan, but I do think that a lot of people go out of their way to rip on J.J. Redick, saying "he may be a good shooter, but he can't create anything off the dribble" or "he's a good spot-up shooter in college, but he has no chance of making it in the NBA." Every single rip on Redick is some variation on those sentences, and I'm not gonna say whether or not I think some of it is racial (but it is). The plain fact is, the kid is legit; no, he's not the quickest guy in the world, but he has just enough driving ability to make you sag off him a little so that he can get the J off, and he can beat you off the dribble if you're overcompensating for his jumper. But the guy takes a ricockulous amount of abuse from opposing fans, and yes, I think some of it is largely amusing. And that leads me to the reason for this post: the picture on the right. It is really goddamn funny, and I wish I had seen it earlier.

That is all.

Nips Hypothetical

The proposed is an interesting quandray. Three 1-loss teams deserving of a title shot against the MIGHTY USC.
Here's kinda how I see it breaking down. If OSU beats Texas they vault to #2 in the rankings and Texas drops to somewhere around 7-8. At this point, I'm not even sure if Penn St is ranked. Now after Penn St. beat us, with both teams being unbeaten, would they jump up ahead of a one loss Texas? Here's the hypo-situation:

The week before Penn St. beats OSU (real life) let's flip OSU and Texas in the polls and bump Texas up 1 spot.
OSU - 2
Texas - 6
Penn St. 17

They might. However, the more interesting question is, would a 1-loss OSU fall behind a 1-loss Texas? You bet they would. That means a now unbeaten Penn St. a 1 loss OSU and Tejas shapes up like this...
Texas 5
Penn St. 7
OSU 8
That's how I feel the polls would break down. Now after the Michigan loss, and everything plays out, you end up end season with Texas 2, OSU 3, Penn St 4 effectively the same exact bowl situation as we have now. Which teaches us one thing, it's not how good you look, it's where you started in the polls. (Voter polls)
Now, it's possible that the voters could change their collective mind in the last week, and I personally think, it might have happened. Or would it?

PLUS, OSU and Penn St would both be above Texas in the computer with it probably being OSU, Penn St, Texas in that order. And with the poll BCS component being a % of total vote and not the rank, it wouldn't take much voter swap to get a change. Let's look...

1) Story lines. Oh those crazy voters love story lines. The biggest one? JoePa's return to glory. The voters screwed him in '94. Why? They thought Osborne was retiring soon and gift wrapped him a national title. This year, the voters are pretty sure JP is going to die soon, that gains him some votes.

2) Players. Voters want to see the best players in the biggest games. Remember it's not USC vs. Texas. It's Leinart and Bush vs Young. Trust me, I hate it to, but it's how it works. This fact gains Texas some votes.

3) Head-to-Head matchups between them swing some votes too

So here's how I think it ultimately plays out...the two polls wind up like this
Texas - 2 (Love players and Mack Brown)
Penn St - 3 (Joe Pa, plus Penn St. beat OSU)
OSU - (No story lines, but they take some of Texas's votes since they beat them)

I think the entire AP/Harris poll is separated by less than 60 points from 2-4. What's that due? Makes the computer component even more of a factor.

Hypo Computer poll
OSU - 2
Penn St - 3
Texas -4

Since the pollsters know how the computer will affect things, and they want Penn St. to go rather than OSU for reasons previously mentioned, they gain a few more votes. PLUS Penn St. going it the least controversial since they beat one of the other two, and didn't lose to one of them.

Therefore the final BCS rankings would look like this...
Penn St 2
OSU 3
Texas 4

I know I'm making some assumptions, but hey, it's a hypothetical, that's what you do.

An Interesting Hypothetical

First of all, let me get this out of the way...


LEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS !!!



So Sunday night I was talking to JFu on the phone while watching the 2nd half of the Duke-VT game. I got off the phone and went to take a shower with about 3 and a half minutes left in the game with Duke leading by 9 and having all kinds of momentum. Hey Jack - since I missed the end, how'd that game turn out?


Okay, this is a momentous occasion in the history of the blog. Or at least it is for me. This post is the first ever from my own computer. I still can't believe I have the internet at my home on my own PC. No more posting at work. And to prove it......BOOBS! Ha ha. That felt good. And speaking of boobs, did you know that they have pornographic material on the internet now?! It's amazing! You guys might not see me again for like 6 years. And when I do re-emerge, I'll be covered in drool, barely be able to see anymore, and have Jim Abbott arms from all the...well...

Anyway, on to the main point of this post.

Now I'm not trying to re-open old wounds and I absolutely agree with the general consensus in these parts that playing ND in the Fiesta is the best bowl matchup for us outside of going to the National Championship. But, consider if you will the following scenario:

We beat Texas back on September 10th. The rest of the 2005 college football season plays out exactly the way it actually did.

My question: Who joins USC in the Rose Bowl?

Three teams have a legitimate (understatement) argument. (I'm not even going to go into why one loss Oregon can't go - this is Midwest Bias after all - we've been over it.) Let's look at the resumes:

Texas: One very early season loss to a top 4 team (Ohio State) on the road. Domination throughout the rest of the year as they run the table in the Big 12, which is not the best league in America, but nowhere near the worst.

Ohio State: Beat a top 4 team (Texas). Their one loss came to a top 4 team (Penn State) by only 7 points on the road at one of the most hostile environments in college football. This loss was fairly early in the year as well. For the most part, improved as the year progressed. Toughest schedule of the three.

Penn State: Beat a top 4 team (Ohio State). Their one loss came smack dab in the middle of the year on the absolute last play of the game in one of the most hostile environments in college football (Big House). The one team on the list that didn't actually lose to another team on the list.

So who goes to Pasadena, and who gets screwed?

My guess is that voters all hop on the Texas bandwagon simply because their wins (70-3 in a title game?!) were so dominating AND their one loss came so early in the year, which despite the Diddy's frustration, is apparently important to the voters.

And since the BCS is now so heavily weighted to give us what the voters want regardless of computers/strength of schedule etc., I think there's little doubt that the Rose Bowl matchup would be unchanged.
I'd love to hear arguments to the contrary though.


Follow-up question: Would this be the biggest BCS controversy yet? Methinks it would.

On the Most Wonderful Time of the Year:

Hey, the bowl games have been announced. In fine MWB tradition (i.e., since last year), we will be SOC-ing the pre-Christmas games. There are four regular contributors, and six pre-Christmas bowl games. I figure we will all do one game, but I haven't been able to get ahold of Dids and Evan in order to pick which games they want to do. But Nips and I have picked out our respective games:


I will be SOC-ing the Poinsettia Bowl on Dec. 22, featuring the flex boning manpower of Navy and the ... Flat Rock-like uniforms of Colorado State. Should be a good one, uh...

Nips has chosen to do the Las Vegas Bowl, also on Dec. 22, a game which matches up the stormin' Mormons of BYU and the perpetually-overrated Cal Bears.


That leaves 4 games for Torgs and Toddgitola to choose from:

New Orleans Bowl: Arkansas State v. Southern Miss, Dec. 20

GMAC Bowl: UTEP v. Toleder, Dec. 21

Fort Worth Bowl: Kansas v. Houston, Dec. 23

Hawaii Bowl: Nevada v. Central Florida, Dec. 24


Choose wisely, boys. Also, for whichever ones you don't pick, I'm not gonna say we're gonna have a special contributor SOC-ing a game of his/her own ... but I'm not saying we're NOT gonna have one, either. Stay tuned.

Special Procrastination-aided Post!

Fiu is SOC-ing the games on Saturday. Welcome back, sir. I think this is his first SOC of the season. Hopefully, he'll be doing some bowl games again this year (if the experience of SOC-ing the thorough ass-whipping the Buckeyes put on 2-pt favorite(!) Oklahoma State in last year's Alamo Bowl didn't deter him, nothing will), so that we at the MWB won't be the only ones providing irreverent, semi-humorous commentary on the ongoing goings-on.

On a related note, if the bowl matchups will be announced by Sunday night (which I assume they will be; please correct me if I am mistaken), we should have a discussion about how we're going to be handling SOC duties for early bowls, as well as setting up this year's thebowl.challenge. What do you guys think for discussion? IM?

Peace.